my life as a starving artist

Password Protected

2011-12-22T09:57:00.003-06:00

Is it just me, or has creating usernames and passwords for things just gotten a WHOLE LOT more complicated? Now, it has to be 47 characters long, have at least 20% numerical characters, 20% special characters, at least one capital letter, and so on and so forth. My creativity is already stretched thin and now I have to come up with a completely original password for a RECIPE website? Come on.

In other news, my cousin, her husband, and her one month old just came in from Africa yesterday. We're enjoying having them around. I'm enjoying a bit of a respite from the madhouse this morning....citing "work" as my excuse to be a bit of the introvert that I truly am. Large groups of people drain me and give me a bit of anxiety, so I have to really prep myself for it. Plus, it's cold and rainy and I'm enjoying getting my life organized while curled up with the computer on the couch.

I'm really missing my friends these days.

These next few weeks are going to be full of excitement, but I am feeling like I haven't gotten enough work done in order to truly enjoy them. I need to be working on restructuring my class that I'm teaching next semester. I have music to learn (recital March 23!), I have music to memorize (V-day gala February 18th!!), and yet here I sit. It's Christmas after all.

I think I'll go get some chocolate.

"never will I ever"

2011-08-23T21:37:00.003-05:00

I am so tired. But this time, this is the best kind of tired I have ever been.

I had a birthday. I turned 26. I must say that 26 was much harder than 25. But I also realized that in the grand scheme of things, I have a lot of time to decide what it is that I am doing with my life.

So, I got a(nother) new job.

Now I have three. I can't complain about this. Some of my best friends are struggling to find one. In this economic climate, having more than one job is a luxury, as well as a necessity.

On to the new job....

I am teaching music appreciation at a community college in town. I have always wanted to do this, though I've never really thought the classroom scene was for me. I love it. I love preparing the lessons, I love grading, I love lecturing, I love making out the tests...all of it. Which is really quite surprising, considering I was so adamant about not being in the classroom. (The Lord has a sense of humor.)

*Side note* My life seems to repeat this theme: NEVER SAY NEVER. For example:

I said, "I will NEVER go to Harding. I couldn't be happy there."

I went to Harding. LOVED it.

I said, "I will never pledge Zeta Rho."

I was in Zeta Rho. Go Zugs.

I said, "I will never date or marry a TNT boy."

oops.

I ALSO said, "I won't marry someone younger than me."

again, oops.

I said, "I am NOT going to Oxford for graduate school."

and there I was, in Oxford.

I said, "I am not going back to Searcy!"

there I was.

I said, "I really don't want to move back to Oxford! I've done that already!"

Here I am.

I said, "I will never teach in the classroom!"

and here I am.

So....the moral of the story is: NEVER SAY NEVER.

***Back to what I was talking about....ahem.***

Anyway, since I work three jobs a day, I'm a little tired, a little scatterbrained, but I feel very accomplished at the end of my day. I am excited to tackle tomorrow. I did an alright job with today. Like I said, the best kind of tired.

As far as my singing career, I'm about to get back on the horse for another round of auditions this year. If anyone out there would love to donate some of your funds to flying me around the country to sing for opera gurus, I'd be ever so grateful. Seeing as how that's not gonna happen, I'm going to go to bed and rest up for my day tomorrow and my three jobs.

I'm enjoying the teacher clothes :)

That's the update.

My prayer

2011-04-13T17:38:00.004-05:00

God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.
He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines of never-failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs and works His gracious will.

You fearful saint, fresh courage take. The clouds you so much dread
Are big with Mercy, and shall break in blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace.
Behind a frowning providence, He hides a smiling face.

Psalm 139
Oh Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out andmy lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

....

You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

.....

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

.....

For you created my inmost being,
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made.
...
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

......

Search me, O God, and know my heart,
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Growing

2011-03-03T21:02:00.002-06:00

This is my first year to attempt any kind of gardening. I figure if something catastrophic is going to happen in my lifetime and all the banks go under (or whatever "they" are predicting), I should know how to grow my own food.

That, and I just really want to eat fresh food.

So, to start off, I planted ornamental cabbages in my flower boxes, and I'm crossing my fingers that the deer won't figure out what they are. Now, I know they're just ornamental, but it's a start.

Also, I bought a few rosemary plants (I do love a good rosemary) and am working on babying those along. Brad bought me a hydrangea plant (again, inedible, but whatev...) and I'm working on "being mean to it" (as my brother puts it) so that it will harden up and survive once I get it in the ground....or so I've been told.

Then...the big story. I planted basil and oregano seeds. After the catastrophe that happened with my basil last year, I'm trying to come up with a way to scare off all creatures on four legs. Until then, I'm growing sproutlings.

I have to say that the coolest thing in the world is putting a seed in some dirt and then watching as suddenly, hundreds of tiny plants are sprouting up all over the place. There's nothing cooler....and there's nothing else that can assure me of God's presence and guidance in my life. Nothing I did made those grow. I left them alone. And then all of a sudden....voila!...plants!

I hoped to get some pics of them uploaded, but I can't find the cord to our new camera (cool.) so you'll have to just imagine how cool these baby sproutlings look.

Week 3 of Couch to 5k completed tonight...my knees hurt and my abs are on fire...but I'm one jeans size down (barely)!

oh, and I love greek yogurt. It never gets old.

updates

2011-03-01T21:54:00.002-06:00

A few new things have happened since last post. To sum up:

New piano.

New piano has warped piece.

New piano piece is made in Korea and shipped overseas to us.

For free.

Brad discovered he likes grits. He's becoming a true southerner. We think.

Planted herbs and cabbages.

Brad gave me a hydrangea plant for Valentine's Day and I think I've almost killed it. Record time. It hasn't even made it in the ground yet.

Went to Dallas, Little Rock, St. Louis, and Memphis all in one week for auditions.

Slept a lot after that.

Haven't heard anything from said auditions.

I'm now up to fourteen students and counting! I'm so busy I can hardly see straight, but I'm loving what I'm doing and I feel like I'm truly building a career.

We've taken up tennis lessons. I've gotten better than I thought possible. Got asked to play on a league this summer.

Had a fight with four deer today. They didn't flinch. They were eyeing my newly-planted cabbages. They've been warned to back off or face the consequences.

Started couch to 5k...for the third time. it's a charm, right?

When Harry Met Sally is on in the background...I've forgotten how great that movie is.

Finally made some fabulous grilled chicken that wasn't overcooked. Success.

So, overall...a busy few months. :) Sorry for the long silence. More soon.

Jack (or Jill) of all trades

2010-12-05T16:19:00.002-06:00

In starting this little business of mine, I was aware that it would not pay ALL of the bills for quite a while. I knew I would have to get creative if I wanted to make ends meet some months. So, I got a retail job. That's done pretty well for me so far.

However, this week I realized something. Since all of my students will be on Christmas break starting next week, this means I don't get paid half of my income for nearly six weeks.

Panic ensued.

Thankfully, the Christmas season is one in which singers are in much more high demand than normal. This is a good thing for me. So, I've picked up random jobs at churches for Christmas concerts and gigs for Christmas parties, etc. This is when I become really thankful to my music theory teachers for teaching me the skill of sightreading. Believe me, I hated it at the time, but I never thought about it being able to earn me a living (or supplement my living) someday.

So thanks, theory teachers. This is also the reason I am adamant about teaching my own students to read music. It might just come in handy (and provide them with some income) someday.

In other news, the end of term recital for my studio was this afternoon. I am immensely proud of all of my students who participated (and those who did not!) and am so proud of the work that went into this event. I think everyone really enjoyed the performances, and I'm hopeful for an even bigger event next semester. Again, today reinforced why it is that I teach voice. It really does better people's lives and enrich their families.

Back at the ranch, I received an email that I got the audition with both Union Avenue Opera Company in St. Louis and Amarillo Opera Company in Amarillo, TX. I'm pretty pumped about both of these. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm going to go sing my heart out and just see what happens. Cross your fingers for me!

This is why I teach

2010-11-10T21:53:00.002-06:00

Today, I had a "This is why I teach" day....and it was awesome.

I had a student say these words to me today: "Thank you for giving me this song." Student from Heaven. Seriously, who gets a student who says that with tears in her eyes??? Also out of her mouth: "No, I don't want to sing Taylor Swift anymore, I want to sing this beautiful song."

AMAZING.

Also, I assigned a student a new song by Bach. I played it/sang it for her and she said "This song is COOL! I'd rather do this than my heavy metal stuff!!"

WHA???? Who possessed my high schoolers today? (Whoever it was....THANK YOU.)

Just goes to show you that music (even "classical") is COOL and WORTHWHILE and can be just as MOVING as you want it to be.

Also, I just found out that those dumb shape-up sneakers DON'T WORK. I heard it on NPR so it must be true.

BEST. DAY. EVER.

2010-09-10T10:14:00.002-05:00

Finally, after a month-long saga, we have internet. I'm not looking forward to getting the bill, but we have internet.

I drank too much coffee this morning in an attempt to rid myself of this darn headache...it hasn't helped. I'm thinking of giving up and going back to bed. I'm going on a walk later...maybe that will help.

Okay. You know that saying "I finally got it all together but I forgot where I put it??" I don't understand it. I don't know if I've ever had it all together. I'll get one thing under control, and the next will go out the window. It's like I only have enough self-discipline to discipline one area of my life. I do great a working out, but I eat everything in sight. I get my eating and exercise under control and then realize I haven't read my Bible in two weeks. I read my Bible every night before bed and then realize I haven't sung a note in four days. It's a struggle for me. There are so many balls in the air and so many different areas of my life that require discipline...it makes me tired to think about it.

Hence the coffee....and the headache. Maybe I should eat something.

loved.

2010-08-30T21:26:00.002-05:00

I've got to post pictures of our house. This will come later.

For now.....we can't get the internet company to come and punch the button that will allow us to have internet...so I'm bumming off my brother after a bumming a meal of DELICIOUS indian food off of him and our good friend Pravin.

Now we're watching the US Open. Well, everyone else is watching. I'm craving frozen yogurt.

I made brownies from scratch for the very first time last night. I christened my new mixer with them (Brad got me a bright green kitchen aid mixer for my birthday...another reason he's the best). They're fantastic. We also made homemade hot chocolate with dark chocolate chips. I was having a chocolate craving to say the least. In my defense, I didn't eat the brownies until this morning....for breakfast. I didn't want to be rude. To myself.

But it's okay because I'm doing Jillian Michael's 30-day shred. I'm on day 11 and level 2. And I'm starting to see a difference, but she's still kicking my butt. Hence the brownies. I can't stand to see too many results too quickly, see. It just gets your hopes up. You have to keep yourself in check. With brownies. And frozen yogurt.

I'm craving frozen yogurt. Tahitian vanilla and triple chocolate. Yes please.

No, I'm not pregnant, though it might sound like it. But trust me. I'm not.

I'm happy. I love our home. I love my husband. I tell you, it's so great to have someone around who loves you unconditionally and makes you coffee every morning before work. It's the little things. :) He kills the spiders so I don't have to.

I can't wait to get Mockingjay. We preordered it three months ago. It's been sitting in Southaven, MS for the last week, so the package tracker says. I'm about ready to find out who to yell at. I could have bought the book elsewhere and read it by now!! I'm waiting patiently (as patiently as possible) and feeling comforted by the fact that amazon.com saved me $0.01 off the cover price. Oh yay. But while I'm waiting, I'm re-reading all the Potter books. I plan on re-reading the entire series before the movie comes out.

Sorry for the boring update. Soon I'll begin singing again. Until then, I'm enjoying some time off.

a life in transition

2010-07-28T10:30:00.002-05:00

There are so many things to write when I sit down to write them.

Then I begin and they all melt away before I can pin (or "pen") them down into concrete letters and words and meaningful phrases.

I wish that I could write as my cousin Heather does. She's a fabulous writer, and although she's moving to Africa for ten years in a few weeks, I just know that someday she'll write some memoir of her time there or some sweeping history of our amazing family and become one of the great authors of our time....someday. But for now she's happy to be called across the world to a place where there are new challenges and dangers and cultures and people...and she's going to start a life that is so unlike anything i know or will know that I won't be able to imagine it. If there was one word to describe this girl, it would be "organic." It's like the earth and her poetry and the delicious food she makes and the art that she produces all come from within her soul and make its way slowly out of the palms of her hands into whatever medium she is working. She's amazing like that. I'll be sad to say goodbye to that quiet presence that has always been there somewhere in my life...but I'm glad for internet connection and blogs of hers where I can still experience that earthy goodness that is her spirit.

As for me and my household, well...we're moving to Oxford in a few days. My time in Searcy is quickly dwindling into nothingness, and all the "lasts" are passing us by before we can really understand and savor them. Today is Brad's last day at work...I have three (well, two and a half now) days left at work...we have a rehearsal and three performances left, and then we're off, just like that, to start this new chapter.

The unknowns are becoming fewer and fewer, as we knew they would. God has provided just what we've needed at just the right time, and it's made us sit back and say "is it really that easy???" We've given our burdens of worry and wonder over to the Lord, and he has returned to us these great plans that seem too good to be true...and they're so good and perfect that we KNOW we could have never come up with them on our own. Monday, I became employed. I am working at Neilson's on the square.... and I am slowly but surely adding students to my studio. I am thrilled to be doing something I love.

We have a house (complete with flower pots and bushes of basil), and we have a piano, and we have working vehicles, and we have a way to pay bills....and we are so blessed. Brad will be getting his masters degree, and we couldn't be more blessed. Soon we will be welcoming a new niece or nephew into the world and into our family and we can't wait to love on that little bundle!

Doors seem to keep opening just when you need them to. It's like the story from The Hiding Place: Corrie is worried about knowing about the future, and her father sums it up in this way:

When you are a child, your father holds onto your train ticket for you until right before you step on the train so you won't lose it. In the same way, our heavenly father holds onto the knowledge of our future until just the right time, and he gives us exactly what we need at just the right time in order to face our future.

This image has been so comforting to me in the last few months. I was getting impatient as all around me my friends seemed to be "receiving their tickets" before I did... little did I know that this was the path that I was to take. God indeed moves in a mysterious way.

this is my friend

2010-07-14T14:27:00.004-05:00

This is my friend Emily. (She doesn't know I'm doing this...sorry, Em.) I've known her since well, since the day she was born. You see, our moms were in the hospital together with us. I think she was born three days after me and two rooms down. Naturally, we were destined to become friends.

Last August she moved to Italy.

I miss her.

I don't think she knows how much of an inspiration she is and has been to me. I know others can say this same thing. She's a wonderful person. She's a beautiful person. And I thought you guys should know it.

She moved to Italy (what a jerk) to teach English using the Bible and to work with the local churches there. From what I hear from my sources, she's doing a wonderful job too. She's really busy all the time and she works tirelessly with countless numbers of people speaking a language that is not her own. And she does it all with a smile on her face. Cause that's how she is. She's cool like that.

Sometimes she even sends me recipes for italian food (I'm waiting for the next installment, Em!)...and recently she sent back a spaghetti serving spoon and awesome scarf for me that she and our other friend Mimi got for me when they were galavanting all around the Italian countryside without me. I don't think I took that scarf off for a week solid. I was convinced it smelled like Italy...and Emily.

She's not all sugar and sweetness though. She's got a rebel's streak in her too.

This one time, she and Meredith short-sheeted my bed. And left evidence on my camera.

See that innocent look? Don't let that fool you. There's always some sort of scheming going on in that head of hers.

Oh, and she hates raw tomatoes. I love to exploit this fact. In fact, I may mention here that for lunch I had a bunch of raw tomatoes with olive oil on them. Yum! (I can just hear her running to the nearest trash can) Really, being a southern girl and hating raw tomatoes is such a tragedy.

Some things I miss about Emily today:

1. Her pranks (see above) and my desperate attempts to one-up her (which by the way, never succeed).

2. Her closet. We share clothes. And jewelry. And SHOES.

3. Her laugh. It's awesome to get her laughing till she cries cause she gets all silent and teary and starts to shake and turn purple and just when you think it couldn't get any better, she let's out another high-pitched squeal and starts it all over again.

4. Her strength. She's amazing, people.

5. Her servant heart. I have never met someone that can keep a smile on her face even when she's exhausted and tired of "being nice."

6. Her four-layer dessert. I haven't had it since she left and it's sending me into withdrawals. Seriously.

Oh, and with regards to number 1, I am convinced that she set this stopwatch to go off at random intervals and then stuck it in my desk before she left. It's still going off. I still can't figure out how to turn it off. Only the batteries are winding down, and so the pitch is never consistent. It's all over the place, and would drive Meredith crazy if she were here to hear it.

Miss you, Em. And I know lots of other folks do too.

You know.

The Hiding Place

2010-07-12T14:20:00.002-05:00

I have been reading The Hiding Place again recently. I was "forced" to read it in ninth grade english, but really enjoyed it. Realizing that it had been over ten years since 9th grade english, I decided to give it another try. In 9th grade, I was 14 years old. Now I am 24 years old. This book means something completely different to me now than it did then, and I'm sure that in ten more years, it will have deeper meaning still.

Each time I have read it, there have been different things that have stood out to me. It never fails to challenge me. I recommend it to anyone and everyone.

Brief synopsis: Corrie Ten Boom, a middle-aged watchmaker, finds herself the accidental leader of an underground anti-Nazi ring in 1940s Holland. She and her entire family are arrested and transferred from prison to prison and finally to a concentration and extermination camp during the second world war. Through all of the pain and misery of that situation, this is the story of two women who let God use them wherever they went, first in the underground, then in prison. I won't tell you how it ends.

I love this story because Corrie does not begin as a Christian who has all the answers. Nor does she claim to end up that way. Corrie seems a bit more like you and me...trying hard to do what we should, but conflicted with our human nature and our spiritual nature. She makes no bones about the fact that this time in her life was hard and full of grief and pain. But she also shows me that these difficult times in life can also be full of joy and wonder. By being stripped of every possession and human dignity, she was finally able to become the instrument that God had designed her to be.

We, like Corrie, live in an uncertain time in history. It seems that peace is much harder to come by and our peace is constantly threatened by outside and interior forces. We live in a time when bombs go off somewhere daily, another company goes under, another husband is sent to the other side of the world, student loans are coming due, the car breaks down, the job passes us by, or the diagnosis comes in. Our prayer lists are long and heavy. We seem constantly in a state of transition.

This book has reminded me that in the midst of chaos, God brings peace and order. What he calls us to do is open our doors and arms and hearts and LOVE one another. He will show us the way to work, he will open the doors and guide our feet. We need to be available to love whoever crosses our path, whether friend or enemy.

"Never be afraid to trust your unknown future to a Known God." --Corrie ten Boom

Itching to Travel

2010-06-23T11:28:00.012-05:00

I am really wishing I could go somewhere. I can't believe it's been four years since I was last in Europe. Geez, I miss that place. Especially right now when it's 1000˚ outside. Yes, 1000. Or so it seems.

Four years ago I was traveling Europe with 50 of my favorite people...honing my photography skills...visiting, what?, 11 countries? Something like that. Poland I think was my favorite, though I wasn't prepared for how wonderful it would be. I thought, "what's there to see in Poland??" Turns out, quite a lot. And the people there are so wonderful.

This is my friend Lindsay. When we get together, we cause trouble.
they put us in a parade and everything! This is the opening ceremonies for Mundus Cantat 2006 (2006...wow.) and we got to spend some time walking in front of a Hungarian group that was so friendly!

Next I believe we went to Germany, made a quick stop at the airport in Berlin to pick some people up...saw a woman dressed as a cross between Peter Pan and Tinkerbell (or she was just a green fairy...never figured that one out)...it's really too bad I didn't keep a picture of that. I think I have one somewhere in the archives. Germany was fabulous. Fabulous food....wonderful people. Good singing. And it's where I got my North Face. That North Face and I became good friends....inseparable, really. You'll notice that I'm wearing the same outfit in all of these photos...it's because I brought one pair of jeans and the rest of my suitcase consisted of skirts and tank tops. Little did I know that Europe was going to be 60˚ and below the entire six weeks I would be there...and it rained at some point every day we were there...except one day somewhere in the middle. I believe we were in Switzerland that day.

Anyway...that North Face and I...I lost it somewhere a few years down the road and mourned its loss for WEEKS. Weeks I tell you. It was my favorite wardrobe piece. I wore it everywhere.

I eventually moved on and bought me a bright red one...maybe I won't lose this one this time.

Anywho, here we are in Germany:

This place was awesome. Right across from the church where Bach is buried. Appropriate. This is my friend Lindsay. We like music.

I think from there we went to Switzerland via Austria. I don't think we stayed anywhere in Austria, but we stayed at a beautiful place in Switzerland right in the heart of the Alps. This was our first view of the gorgeous mountains:

Hello, North Face. This is my brother-in-law Scott (although at the time I had never met his brother...who I would marry three years later)!

If you want to see the scenery outside our Swiss hostel, you might could access it here:

That is, if you're friends with the right people. :)

From Switzerland I believe we ventured down into Italy and Croatia. I didn't take many pictures of Croatia...mostly because it was pouring the entire time we were there. We spent a day in Vicenza, Italy

Here I am with Scott again and my wonderful friend Emily...who now lives in Florence...I guess she just couldn't stay away. We had great pizza and gelato that night. And then we sang in an outdoor concert. Dark chocolate and coconut gelato. Why do I remember that? Who knows.

We took what was supposed to be a day trip to Venice but we like to refer to it as what it actually was: "27 minutes in Venice."

We ran to the center of San Marco Square, turned around and shot this picture:

then ran madly around trying to find an ATM so we could buy a calzone. Ah, the little things.

One of my favorite photos of the trip was a complete accident. I'm not sure why my camera was set on black and white, but as we were riding in the water taxi (ya know, cause Venice is in the water...), I stuck my arm out the side and snapped this:

and you gotta admit that's a rockin' shot.

From there we went to France where our bus broke down (I do remember that day was VERY HOT), one of the only very hot...or even mildly warm days that we experienced. We were stuck in Lyon, France for a few days, but I didn't mind. That's a cool city...the "city of Lights" (you thought that was Paris, didn't you?...so did I.) and we stayed in a great hostel on top of a hill overlooking the city...and I had a great time.

Once we got a new bus, we traveled through the night (and through the Chunnel) which is an experience I NEVER (repeat NEVER) wish to duplicate, we arrived in England and traveled through England, Scotland, and Ireland. I must admit, it's some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen.

my good friend Elaine and I climbing out into the ocean...this was taken at 10:00 at night...still daylight. Amazing.

This is me at the castle. Some castle. I can pronounce it but there's no way I'll spell it right so you just have to take my word for it. I believe it's in Sterling, Scotland. Or around there.

And here's us singing our concert. Lovely concert hall.

That's me...front row, far left. Not really sure why I was standing there...I usually was somewhere in the middle, but for this one, I decided front row was where I was going to stay. Good picture though, huh?

I want to go back. I want to repeat these experiences. I want to be with my favorite friends again (though some were missing).

What a great trip. Four years ago.

SUMMER!!

2010-05-24T15:21:00.003-05:00

There's something about the beginning of summer that causes people to become somewhat nostalgic. There's always some sort of trigger. For me, it might be the heat...and the empty campus. For some reason, TODAY feels like the first day of summer to me. Campus is completely empty and quiet and the heat index is 95 degrees (so long, spring!). I walked out the door this morning and was greeted by the familiar wall of WET air. Welcome back into my life summer.

For some reason, when someone says "summer," a few very distinct images come into my head. For one, grilling. I love the smell and the heat (and the taste and ease) of summer grilling. You can grill just about anything...meat, veggies, fruit, bread...and it's all good!

Also, sunsets come to mind. My family seems to spend a lot of time on the front porch watching the sun set after dinner during these early summer weeks. After that, it's much too hot to venture outside while the sun is up.

Crickets. My favorite sound once the summer sun goes down. Also evening walks. After dinner is my favorite time to just walk. Walk and talk. I know it irritates Brad sometimes because after dinner is his favorite time to lay down...but we compromise most nights...and by compromise I mean we go on walks most nights. :)

I am excited about this summer. There are going to be so many good things about living with my parents this summer. I'm sure we'll get a little cramped and feel like we're constantly on top of each other, but I know for sure that there will also be a lot of board games and movie nights and card games and bike rides too. You know, on those rare nights when we're not constantly at rehearsal.

Welcome into my life summer...how I've missed you!

changing landscapes

2010-05-06T10:31:00.010-05:00

All my life, I feel like I've been climbing mountains.

Now, don't confuse me with mountain-woman. I mean this completely figuratively. Although I think I've climbed part of a mountain once...maybe. Oh there was that one time on our honeymoon...more about that later.

Anyway. What I mean by this is simple: My whole life (since I can remember, and since it mattered), I've been chasing a solid and tangible goal (usually involving a graduation of some kind). High school...climbing along until you reach the peak (admittedly, this was more of a...large hill? than a mountain). Once you reach the peak, you can see clearly (cue song) to the next phase of your life...or your next mountain.

So then there was college. I had great fun climbing this mountain, although it took a little longer than the "high school" mountain and was a bit more challenging. I had to have a few people along with me to help me out.

(oh my goodness look how YOUNG we all are!)

Then I had to choose another mountain. I chose graduate school. By far the "steepest climb" of them all...and the most breathtaking (as the more difficult mountains are) experience of my life thus far.

(here we are in Washington D.C. at the National Opera Convention after our performance, complete with Georgetown Cupcakes!)
It was the shortest climb though, and since all my brain energy was taken up with the climb itself, once I got to the top, I thought...now what? I have a degree...

I guess I'll get married!

And here's where that honeymoon story comes in...

We thought it would be a great idea to climb a mountain.

Previously this day, we had gone white water rafting and walking around a national park. So we had been relatively active for the majority of the day. We had also packed one water bottle for the two of us and hadn't eaten in several hours. We thought this would be alright though. We were assured that it was a short little (mostly flat) walk to Henwallow Falls (yes, "Henwallow." Check the sign). I mean...how far could 2.2 miles really be? That's round trip, right?

Nope. After about four hours (and a one-mile section that went up at an angle larger than 45 degrees), we made it back to the bottom. (in FLIP-FLOPS no less!)

not my proudest moment. No wonder I don't ACTUALLY climb mountains, just figuratively.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY...

A year later, I don't necessarily feel like I'm struggling up a mountain anymore. It's more like...wandering around aimlessly looking for where the path picks up again.

(now, I could be real campy here and start quoting Frost's "The Road Less Traveled By," but I'll spare you that)

It's different, but it's still an adventure.

I'm ready for the summer to begin...even though nothing much is changing yet, the end of the school year (even though I'm not really in school) always feels like a new page turn...and I like that feeling a lot. Fresh air, new hopes and possibilities...it's all good.

a decision

2010-04-26T09:31:00.002-05:00

ALRIGHT ALREADY. Here we are, it's Aril 26th.

Brad and I took a trip to Oxford this weekend. It was the perfect weekend, and we felt as if God was trying to convince us that this was the path we should be taking. We still haven't heard anything from Atlanta, and so we have decided to walk down the path that will lead us to Mississippi. I think I have found us a place to live (please let that house still be open in August), and he's set up to start school. We both inquired about different jobs this weekend and met with encouragement. Many things about this are looking positive, and I just can't help but believe that maybe this was the right decision all along.

I have finally made peace with it. I will no longer be devastated if we move to Mississippi-quite the opposite. All my best friends will still be in Oxford, and I know that God will provide a way for us to pay bills...God is faithful in the big and the small, and he would not send us to a place and then make it impossible to support ourselves. I just pray that this time as I move back to Oxford, my priorities are more clear, my purpose is clear, and I can find it within me to continue what I've started and love on the people there with all my heart and show them what living like a Christian looks like.

It's going to be a big move. A big transition. But I'm ready to begin this next phase. We have a lot to do this summer. We are moving out of our apartment in a month...and moving in with my parents. They are very generous to let us stay in their house all summer...for free. I'm doing the cooking all summer, Brad and I are music directors for the Dinner Theater, I am reprising my role as Sister Mary Amnesia, and we have to find jobs in Oxford.

I'm still now sure how all this will piece together, but I have faith that it will. Somehow. It always does. Because God is great and He is bigger than any decision I will ever make, and His truth and love will be spread by me no matter where I am if I will just get out of the way and allow Him to work through me. God will work in Atlanta, whether we're there or not. God will work in Oxford, no matter what. And I pray that God will use us wherever we decide to go...I'm beginning to learn that the first step sometimes is just to MAKE A DECISION...and God will make up the difference.

ugh...april.

2010-04-19T15:01:00.002-05:00

ALRIGHT. seriously. it's time to hear something.

technically, we've heard some things, but nothing conclusive. and the things we have heard have sounded really great until you read the fine print. i hate fine print.

...and in other news...

i HATE having car trouble. van trouble. van wreckage. flat tires. new tires (grrrrr).

i need to bake something. i bake when i'm stressed. therefore i am stressed.

i don't really want to complain about this day (week) anymore, and i know in my heart that we are blessed far beyond what we deserve, some days it's just hard to swallow that humble pill and suck it up and deal with the inconveniences of life.

today is that day.

April

2010-04-05T09:19:00.003-05:00

April is here. I won't lie, I REALLY thought we were going to know what our future holds at this point in the semester. But no. We don't. We've made peace with it really...we've narrowed the field a little bit and are just waiting on the Good Lord to reveal to us what we're supposed to be doing. For now, I'm making plans for the summer. I'm wanting to get back to performing. It's time.

Oh...did I mention I have a recital in 10 days? Well I do. In Cleveland, MS. Am I ready? Possibly. Last night's run went pretty well. It's strange preparing for a recital that you gave a year ago and have decided to do again. Part of me wishes that I had been a little more adventurous and pushed myself to learn new material, but I'd be crazy out of my mind stressed right now had I done that...so I'll just sit back and hope that everything is still straight in my head. This recital competition is supposed to be a great networking opportunity for me, and I hope that it will be and that I'll be around to take advantage of that.

The $800 prize ain't so bad either.

But I have decided that I want to try to do Searcy Summer Dinner Theater again...they're doing a "marital bliss" theme firor the summer...and it sounds hilarious. Also, I will be giving a recital in Searcy near the end of July with a good friend that wants to study collaborative piano. I think it will be a great thing for both of us....I need to learn some of the standard rep that I should have known a long time ago (if I'm ever going to be able to teach it) and she needs to learn some of the old standards as well. It will be a good time, and if we're lucky, we can get Brad in on it too. We have never sung together, and so this summer might very well be a good time to start!

Something else that I have decided to think about: Small Business Start-up. I realize that if I'm ever going to work for myself in a voice studio or music institute, I'm going to have to know some of the ins and outs of small business planning and taxes...so I have bought some books about it (who can say "tax deduction??") and I'm starting my research armed with a highlighter and post-it tabs...and a deeeeeeeep breath.

Here goes nothin'.

So we keep waiting...

2010-03-24T10:09:00.003-05:00

There is nothing left to be done. We have called, emailed, and prayed our hearts out. No answers. I can only assume that this means that God is not ready to reveal his plan to us yet. We must wait patiently for a door to be opened somewhere with the frank realization that one may not be opened at all.

There are a couple of really wonderful blessings in all of this that I would be remiss to forget about. One huge blessing is that we are both currently employed with two jobs each...so at least we have a stable source of income. This is huge. We may very well have to stay here simply to pay the bills and be able to live. It wouldn't be the worst thing to do. I have found some really great opportunities, and I could create my own if I were here. I think somewhere I may have found the drive to do so. We have a home. Even though our neighbors like to play rap music late at night or run laps right above us first thing in the morning, it's our home. Our space. And we've worked really hard on making it ours.

So we wait. We try to be patient. We try not to think of the worst-case-scenarios until it's time (okay, really that's just a fault of mine...it's a nasty habit). We try to instill as much peace in our lives as possible and know that the God of peace and love is meticulously planning our future. We just have to wait until He decides to let us know about it.

I'm trying hard not to "watch the pot," but I'm beginning to wonder if the element is even on....if you know what I mean.

Chicago

2010-03-15T10:19:00.004-05:00

My family and I just returned from our vacation in Chicago. I had big plans to document our culinary adventures while we were there (and believe me, we had some) with my camera...

Since we have been married, I have destroyed BOTH of our cameras.

So....no pictures. Our camera got in a fight with a water bottle in my purse....and lost. My check register and credit cards survived, a little worse for wear, but still useable. My phone and iPod limped along for a few days before they were truly dried out, but the camera....did not recover. So, I have NO PICTURES from our trip. NONE. I'm very sad about it, and we now have no camera to our name.

Cool.

Anyway, I'll hit the highlights, and since I don't have any pictures, you'll just have to take my word for the wonderfulness of it. I was able to find some of my menu items via the google images search, most of them from the websites of the restaurants themselves. This will at least give you an idea! Enjoy!

Day 1:
Pizano's Pizza. My first deep-dish experience. The crust was light and flaky and I had the tomato basil pizza. The mozzarella even tasted like basil. It was heavenly.

The Park Grill: I had some kind of wonderful apple and fennel salad that was delicious. We also ordered some lobster mac and cheese to share and it was really interesting! Very sweet and light (which was NOT what I was expecting)...almost an alfredo consistency on the cheese. But very good!

Day 2:
Yolk: The best breakfast I've ever had. Okay, maybe not quite, but definitely close. I had the multigrain blueberry and granola pancakes...yes, blueberries AND granola INSIDE the multigrain pancakes, topped with bananas and honey. oh. my. goodness.

so good.

Berghoff's German: I went with the bland German food, and was NOT disappointed. I had thinly sliced lean corn beef over a half of a boiled cabbage (i happen to LOVE boiled cabbage, so go easy) with a side of very yummy and authentic white wine mustard. DELISH.

Day 3:
The Lyric Opera Feast: This was a really wonderful experience. The menu was a fixed price menu, so you got to choose several items to make up your meal. I started with a smoked ham and apple endive salad...it was a little more bitter than I expected, but still a great flavor combo. My favorite item came next: Roasted plantains with goat cheese and a currant sauce. I could have eaten an entire plate of that and been perfectly happy. Then the salad that everyone got...wonderful greens with a very light dressing that I couldn't quite get my head around. It was very creamy and almost...mustardy? Anyway. The entree was next, and I chose the peppered black bass with an herbed and toasted cous cous. This was delicious. The fish was hearty and very flavorful. And for dessert...an array of little bites of things, my favorite being the rum-soaked bread pudding. I decided I'm not a macaron fan as well...it's too light and I really didn't like the raspberry-apricot filling. Don't get me wrong, I love both of those fruits...just not in that consistency.

And the opera (Marriage of Figaro) was amazing. Bravo to all...one of the highlights of my musical career.

Gino's Pizza: This was the pizza that did not like me. Too much cheese, and the cornbread crust I did NOT enjoy. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Day 4:
Flat Top Grill for Breakfast: Like Ghengis Grill, only for breakfast, and a bit nicer atmosphere. I chose to have a pancake with all sorts of fruits and nuts in it. Delicious. And I got a small piece of cinnamon coffee cake and was glad it was small because it was AMAZING.

Here's a look at my pancake:

Shaw's Crab House: I have never been to a place like this in all my life. Some entrees were $80. Yikes. So, Brad and I split the lobster and steak combo...and it was delicous. This was my first encounter with lobster that was not in a soup or salad, and it was very tasty. The steak was a little overcooked, but still very flavorful. I'm pretty sure it was well seasoned with pepper and some kind of flavored salt. The best part of this restaurant was the bread they brought beforehand. There were three types that were set before us. A raisin-pumpernickel (believe me, this was magnificent), a fennel and poppyseed wafer, and a seeded multigrain. I could have made a meal on this bread alone.

It was a wonderful trip, full of fun and wonderful memories...I have now experienced a large portion of Chicago, and I can say with certainty that it is a wonderful city and I love it there! I will be back!

another culinary adventure

2010-03-05T11:03:00.002-06:00

So, I've been a little stale in the kitchen the last few weeks. In all the busy-ness of teaching at night and Brad's work schedule...and weekends out of town so I don't do my regular grocery shopping, I've just kinda thrown together whatever was in the pantry (or completely thrown in the towel and gone to McAlister's....don't tell).

Anyway, I got my new Cooking Light in the mail (thanks to my hubby for the subscription!!), and that magazine always inspires me to get cookin' in the kitchen. AAAAaaaand I like to think that the magazine is named for me...(cooking LIGHT? I'm a Light and I cook? Get it? eh? mmmm.) Anyway.

Living with my grandparents last year brought on a slew of wonderful experiences and life lessons, but one that has never left me alone was this statement by my grandmother: "pork chops are the hardest cut of meat to cook WELL....not tough or dry." Since I heard that, and since cooking meat has NEVER been my strong suit, I have stayed away from the intimidating chop. But no longer. This month they had two different recipes for quick pork chops cooked on the stove and a pan sauce to go with it. By the way, making pan sauce is my new favorite trick. It makes every meal I cook taste gourmet. So, I decided to try it. I was very specific about the cut of chop that I wanted (the magazine recommended the center-cut chop), and thankfully, the price was good for 4 chops, so I went for it.

The pan sauce was delish. Flavored with onions, garlic, spicy brown mustard, and maple syrup (just a tad)....DELISH! I was really proud of the outcome. The chops turned out okay....it was touch and go there at the beginning of the cooking, but I think I rescued the chops just in time. They were a tiny bit tough, but I will know better what to do next time to make them wonderful.

Adventure number two (and here's where I was really stretching it....quite literally): homemade whole wheat pasta. My motivation for this was two-fold: whole wheat pasta is expensive (yowza!) and my husband HATES the graininess of it. So...I set out to find a good recipe. I did my research, I bought the whole wheat flour...I put everything out on the counter...and I stared at it.

I don't have a pasta machine.

Meh, I figured that people have been making pasta for centuries (right?) without pasta machines OR kitchen aid mixers....so I did it the old fashioned way....mano a mano....me against the pasta dough.

I did what the recipe suggested. Just dump the flour onto the countertop, make a hole in it and pour in the wet stuff...mash it together and see what happens. I was concerned about this method, afraid I would be making a ROYAL mess, raw eggs and olive oil EVERYWHERE...but it turned out rather well. The dough was the toughest dough I have ever tried to knead...or roll out (by the way, no rolling pin either, although I'm not sure it would have done a lot of good), and I have the sore neck, back, and shoulders this morning to prove it. I stretched the dough out by hand and pounded it and bent it to my will (kinda) until it was in as thin a sheet as I thought I could possibly manage. And then I cut it into strips with a pizza cutter. I let it airdry for a few minutes, then plopped it in the water. Now, Brad was in charge of this part while I was making the turkey italian sausage meatballs and marsala cream sauce (yum! recipe for that later), and so all I heard was...."are you sure this is gonna work?" "nope. i'm not."

so we waiting the three minutes that it was supposed to take them to cook.

We drained them. Brad picked one up. "Oh my gosh, it's like a noodle!!"

Success. I had just made noodles. With my HANDS. Yes. Granted, they could have been thinner, and so I will be working on perfecting my technique. I think it would make excellent ravioli, so that's what I'm trying next. But I had successfully made noodles. SO proud of myself! And they tasted GREAT. They were very silky, no graininess at all. Brad loved them.

Double success.

I would have taken a picture, but honestly they weren't terribly pretty, because the pizza cutter method worked just okay. I think when I make ravioli, I'll be documenting that experience a bit more. Pictures to come...possibly.

"dipping sauce"

2010-02-15T14:55:00.003-06:00

alright, on suggestion from my husband, i am going to start recording everything funny that happens while he's asleep. see, he has this habit (which NONE of his roomates warned me about) of doing (or saying) interesting things when he's asleep. So, with his permission, here's a list of my favorites.

1. on any given normal night, he is quite agreeable while he's asleep. frequently, he shifts positions and says "uh HUH. yep. uh huh." i'm not really sure why he always agrees, but maybe it's just cause he's a nice guy.

2. on of my favorites: i got up one night to use the bathroom, and as i'm opening the door to go out of the bedroom, he rolls over, waves his hand at me and says "hey, can you bring me back some dipping sauce??" i just go along with this and say "uh...sure." and he says "great, thanks." and rolls back over. i sure hope his dippers were delicious.

3. one night i woke up because someone was tapping me on the shoulder. i looked over, he's propped up on one elbow, eyes closed, tapping. "WHAT???" i say. "hmmm?" he says. "go back to sleep!" i say. he turns over and says "okay."

4. he has this snoring problem. he knows this. only one night he decided to argue with me about it. typically, if he wakes me up with his snoring, i just nudge him and tell him to turn over. only this night, he was NOT so very agreeable. i nudged him and said, "turn over, you're snoring!" he very indignantly said "no i'm not!" "YES YOU ARE" "i WAS NOT snoring, you imagined it." giving up i said "fine. just turn over."

5. The other night, I woke up to find the top half of my body hanging off of the bed with my hands touching the floor. I thought that this was definitely unusual, so as I tried to swing my body back into bed, I realized that the reason I was in that position was because Brad was on MY side of the bed. I also realized he had stolen my pillow. I kicked him over enough for me to get myself upright, then turned to him and saw that he was holding both my pillow and his straight up in the air at a 45 degree angle. I said "what are you doing??" "no!" he said. "Give me my PILLOW!" I tried to yank it out of his hands at which point he crossed both pillows over his body, rocked back and forth and said "no no NO NO NONONONONONO!!!" I yanked it away, and he "harumphed" and turned over. So strange.

6. Most recently, I was peacefully asleep when I feel someone PUNCHING my leg. "OW! Stop!" I said. "Give me back the covers" he said. I looked up at the cover situation, only to realize that it wasn't me who had taken his covers, he was just sleeping on top of them. He was then trying to take MY covers, essentially making himself into a burrito in our bed. "Brad, you have to GET UNDER the covers." "give them BACK!" he yelled. I moved him over enough to start pulling the covers out from under him and said "you're ON TOP OF THEM!!!" "oh," he says. "okay."

Blissfully back to sleep he goes, leaving me with a throbbing leg. Thanks.

I'm sure there will be many more adventures during our lifetime...I just hope I can remember to write them all down!

1-2-3 sauce

2010-02-04T12:12:00.002-06:00

So, since our budget's been pretty tight these days, I've had to come up with some interesting stuff to prepare for dinner. The turkey-pot-pie soup that I made on Monday was a nice IDEA, but needed fresher (not freezer-burned) ingredients and a little more flavor, so we're not gonna post that one quite yet.

Tuesday, I called my sweet brother who gave me a great recipe for broiling (or, as he liked to put it, "grilling upside down") a pork loin that was just delicious and super easy. I sent Brad to the grocery store for a pork loin and he came back with a bonus package that had two large ones inside one package...needless to say that for the price he paid, we were pretty excited. I coated the loin with a little bit of olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, and paprika and put it under the broiler for about 20-25 minutes, flipping it every five. Delicious and juicy...perfection in a pork loin. With it we had confetti cous cous with fresh veggies...all the veggies I had left in my fridge.

Wednesday, I was really searching for something to cook, and thanks to stumbleupon.com (my newest toy), I found a blog that referred to 1-2-3 sauce. Now, I have never heard of this, but it was very simple, super easy, and with a bit of tweaking, quite tasty. This is a marinara sauce that was just wonderful (it won't, however, replace my homemade marinara that takes two hours to simmer on the stove, but when you only have 10 minutes, this is a great stand-in). Caramelize garlic and onions in a bit of oil (I hear it's delicious if you add bacon to that mix, but I didn't want to deal with draining off the fat), pour in a (drained) large can of diced tomatoes, cook it till it's kinda on the dry side at the same time that you're cooking your (whole wheat) pasta. Add a little bit of the starchy pasta water to the sauce, and voila...you have delicious 1-2-3 sauce. I added the spiced pork loin from the night before in small chunks, and the meal was delicious (and very cheap!!).

Tonight, I have no idea what we're having...I've hard-boiled some eggs so I can have egg salad for lunch, but I'm at a loss for dinner. I have canned tuna, kidney beans, and lettuce in my fridge. I may have to break down and go to the grocery store but I really don't want to....I get paid tomorrow though!! We'll see how it goes.

the hungries

2010-01-25T14:51:00.002-06:00

Last night, Brad and I returned home from Mississippi to a relatively empty refrigerator. We were watching a movie when BAM!...the hungries struck both of us with a vengeance. And there was NOTHING to eat.

It was 9:30...just after the time that our regular grocery store closes, so we (grumbling all the way), bundled up and headed out to wal-mart. NOT my first choices of places to go at 9:30 at night. However, we had a bit of a list (we decided, why not go ahead and get the stuff we'll need for breakfasts and lunches this week?), so we began to browse the aisles of food.

Now, here I need to say that we DO NOT go to wal-mart, really because of its inconvenience, its terrible parking, and it's all-out creepiness after dark. But yesterday as we were shopping for our groceries I was absolutely SHOCKED at how low some of the prices were in comparison to what we had been buying. It was almost a let-down. We had been using coupons and discount cards...even with all of that, most of what we bought at wal-mart was a good dollar cheaper. How disappointing. What would have usually cost us about $50 at our normal grocery store (we bought items last night that we were out of but that we don't buy on a weekly basis...like honey, jam, pickles...etc.) cost us $40. How sad.

I think we've decided to start shopping at wal-mart...as sad as we are about this decision. Money is really tight these days, especially this month because my adjunct contract was slow in getting turned in...so I'm not getting paid for one of my jobs...and Brad took 10 days off earlier this month...things just seem to add up. So any $10 we can save is good. I'm just so sad that it has to be wal-mart that's saving us money!

On the upside, though, I now found a reliable source for leeks and kale and beautiful romaine and good apples (that are 1.00 a pound, not 1.87 a pound!), and lots more fresh produce than has been available to us in the past...and I can start trying more new recipes!

On the menu for the week: tonight, we are having an italian bean soup...yum! kindof a cross between a white chicken chili and the ribolletta soup that Brad loves so much. Tomorrow, greek chicken pitas with roasted veggies and onions. Wednesday, tuna pasta with tomatoes and lemon-garlic sauce. Thursday...not too sure about thursday, but I'd like to re-try homemade pizza and a great big salad (hand-made pizza dough and pizza sauce and all!!). Friday is mom's birthday, so we're in for a special celebratory treat!!

Oh...and did I mention that biggest loser started at the office last week? Ugh.

so far so good

2010-01-11T08:31:00.003-06:00

so far, my "un-resolutions" are sticking...and i've lost 3 pounds this week! so...if that's not motivation to stick with it, i'm not sure what is!

Brad got back into town last night--it's so good to have him back after being apart for 10 days. I've introduced him to my new system, and this morning, he woke up early and made himself some oatmeal before he went to work at 7:00 and he also packed his lunch. So, maybe he's going to try it too? I just hope he likes it as much as I do.

This past week has brought with it several new possibilities to think about for our future...it's funny how a month ago, we had one thing to go on, and now we have SEVERAL. How in the world will we choose? We just need to pray for God to open the right doors and close the right doors and lead us through this confusing maze of decisions. He always does, but now more than ever we are in need of his Divine Guidance. Some of these new possibilities are almost too good to be true...one of those things that you're afraid to say out loud because then you're afraid it will disappear into thin air. But, I promise, as soon as we know anything definite, we will be posting it for all the world to see...and let me just say that this was something that we never even saw coming. I'm convinced God works that way, just to prove that He's the one in ultimate control, and nothing you do can ever change that. It's comforting in a way...and sometimes I wish he'd just write it very obviously in the clouds, just so I would be sure not to miss it, but He almost does...just in his own way. All I know is that he blesses and blesses again, and I am so very undeserving, but thankful.

My fax machine is ringing off the hook over there, so I'm going to go take care of that.

God is good all the time!

resolution to un-resolve

2010-01-04T15:20:00.003-06:00

i don't really believe in new years resolutions. i did until i realized that all they really are, are excuses to let yourself fail. you're EXPECTED to fail. if it's a new years resolution, it WILL NOT stick. at least in my case. so i don't do it. oh sure, i make resolutions, just not specifically at new years. i don't have a list of resolutions that i wrote last week. however, there are some changes that i have started to make in the last month or so that i would like to share (call it the die-hard spirit, something's just ingrained in me to write a post like this come every january....)

i have started to enjoy different types of exercise. i love going to workout classes, but i also love working out alone. and i am starting to learn to like yoga.

i'm not into that eastern-ideals yoga stuff and i certainly don't do any of that "bow to yourself and be grateful to yourself to seal your practice" stuff, but i have found other ways to direct my "meditation" if you will during those quite breathing times. whenever it is suggested to thank myself, i list my blessings that God has given me. When I am supposed to feel one with the Earth, I remember that God sent his Holy Spirit to reside inside of me. "Namaste" has come to be replaced with "Thank you, God."

it's really freeing to change something up and still reap the health benefits of it.

I am going to cook more whole foods. Less processed stuff. I was already doing pretty good with this, but i've fallen off the bandwagon and both my husband and i are suffering because of it. I'm even trying to cut back on my meat intake...i'm by no means a vegetarian, but i am convinced that we americans eat far too much meat.

no soda. none. no carbonation. this is good for my voice, my reflux, my health, my complexion, and my sense of well-being. i haven't cut out coffee just yet...baby steps. but i have ADDED a glass of water for every cup of coffee that I drink.

Speaking of water, I'm replacing all carbonated beverages with water. So far I'm up to six glasses today already. (of course there's not much else to do today besides drink water and stare at the computer)

I'm keeping a "nutrition and fitness journal" these days. I made the daily form up myself (with a little help and inspiration from my dietician...my cousin!) and i'm trying to be more in tune with how i feel about and around and after eating food rather than just counting calories. i think i'm falling back into stress and emotional eating...and that's a recipe for disaster. every time i think about where we're going to be next year, i reach for the peanut butter jar...or the dark chocolate...or the mixed nuts...or...you get the idea.

i'm going to read more. cookbooks, fiction books, the Good Book...you name it. Just....read.

I'm actually going to try to sew my own pillows rather than go to target and drop $40 on pillows for the spring. I haven't done this since jr. high, so we'll see how it goes.

I'm going to take more pictures. This one may be sidelined for awhile because on my first attempt, I turned on my camera to find that it is no longer working. dead. as a doornail. so....for the moment i have commandeered my husband's camera, but that won't work forever.

I'm trying to diversify what it is that i do exactly. Call it my quarter-life crisis or whatever, but I'm starting to dare to dream of myself as something other than a musician. I will remain a musician until the day that I die, but I'm ready to be something else as well...I just don't know what that is yet. In short, I'm searching for a hobby. One that I love and can do without too much financial burden or constant time commitment. We'll see how it goes.

So, my non-resolutions? There they are. I promise I began work on all of these before or after January 1st, but certainly not ON January 1st. So, already, they're much more likely to succeed.

leftovers

2009-12-01T20:12:00.002-06:00

so it's been awhile since i blogged about a recipe, but this one was just so good i can't resist. my mother-in-law sent us home with a ton of leftovers from thanksgiving, and i had some veggies that i needed to use up. my husband has been begging me for a turkey pot pie, so i decided to give it a try. i did my research and looked up several recipes...i was bothered by the fact that they were all loaded with butter and "cream of something" soup, so i decided to give it a go and try my own rendition of the recipe. here's what i did:

1 red potato, diced
1 carrot, diced
1/2 an onion, diced
mushrooms, diced
frozen peas

sauteed all of the above with a little bit of olive oil and pepper, then added the leftover gravy and about a cup of shredded turkey and about a tablespoon or so of lowfat, reduced sodium cream of mushroom soup, then added some dried thyme and sage and put it in a prepared pie crust and baked it.

the result:

AMAZING. the best pot pie i've ever had...so chunky and full of veggies....we never missed the butter or "cream of whatever" or cream or milk....or sodium!

brad and i both had two servings! SO GOOD! and i did it all without a recipe...and i am so proud of myself. this was the BEST way to use up some of those holiday leftovers. i'm going to try it again with chicken one of these days! it's really cheap. i think i'm going to try it without the pie shell and just pour the yummy veggie and meat mixture over some whole wheat toast. yum.

no dead ends here

2009-11-23T16:44:00.003-06:00

i must admit, as i was wrapping up graduate school and looking toward being in searcy for a year, i was pretty sure i was taking a step away from my profession by taking this job here at the speech clinic. i was worried that i would not be able to stay in the loop or figure out what it was that i wanted to do.

i was so wrong.

working here has provided me with so many opportunities that i would not be able to simulate anywhere else. i am learning the SLP lingo, i'm learning some of the ins and outs of this profession, and i've had the opportunity to share what i know with people who are trying to help those with voice problems. not only that, but i have been handed some information on something that i am very much interested in pursuing one of these days.

i didn't know this truly existed, but today i got a flyer for a profession as a singing voice specialist (SVS) and i am very excited about doing some research about this. i had thought about pursuing some sort of career path like this but had no idea how to get started with it....and little did i know that i was on the right track all along. i have all of the prerequisites for the certification course except for two more years of teaching...which i will have in two years. if we keep saving, it will be totally affordable, and it is something that (right now) i am really interested in researching. there are a few programs around the country that i have found, some associated with a school, others associated with a particular voice clinic, but a lot of the programs can be done distance-learning style, with a couple of weekend-long sessions throughout the process. this could be what i have been looking for all along. i am just going to have to bookmark this, file it away, and not forget about the possibility.

for now, i'm going to keep doing my work, singing my heart out, and praying for God to open all the right doors for us. He always does, but He does it on His time...and so we wait peacefully and patiently.

Thankfulness

2009-11-09T11:19:00.002-06:00

It has been awhile since I have made a list of my current blessings, and I'm feeling the need to acknowledge some of them.

The biggest blessing in my life is definitely my husband. I may not be ecstatic about where we live or how long we may be here, but I am very excited to be living it with him.

Yesterday, I came home from teaching my lessons, and he was hard at work scrubbing down the kitchen. Amazing. Together, we scrubbed, disinfected, swept, mopped, dusted, rearranged, and primped our apartment. It smells wonderful and looks great. Closets cleaned out, cabinets reorganized, and now we just have to do laundry. So, we are blessed with a clean and nice-looking apartment.

We spent the rest of our wedding store credit this weekend. We bought christmasy pillows for the couch, a new throw for the couch, a warmer blanket for the bed (no more waking up shivering!), and some christmasy decorations for the living room.

We have been blessed with excess food. This sounds silly, but a week ago, we had a birthday dinner for my mother-in-law and husband and had POUNDS of meat left over. We ate on it little by little this last week, but we still had so much left over. So, instead of letting it go bad, I went to walmart and bought two disposable oven pans, shred all of the meat into them, made a new batch of homemade honey garlic bbq sauce, smothered the meat in the new bbq sauce, and froze it. Just like the Corky's BBQ you buy frozen at the grocery store, only this is homemade! And I have two pans of BBQ ready at any moment. I made one big enough to serve two and the other big enough to serve four, just in case we have unexpected guests. And now, I have a full bottle of homemade honey garlic bbq sauce.

Pottery Barn. Maybe it's weird to list it as a blessing, but I don't care. I love Pottery Barn. I also like that they were serving warm cider at Williams Sonoma. And I'm also happy that I got to spend the afternoon with cider and a cinnamon latte walking around in those stores.

I am thankful that I am singing again. And I'm thankful that I will be seeing my grad school buddies very soon. I cannot wait to catch up with them and have a little bit of down time. And I'm excited to hear them sing with their lovely voices.

I am thankful (and terrified) that I have an audition at OTSL, and I'm just crossing my fingers and praying really hard that I have a genuine shot at this position.

Life is good. Really good. I could go for a few degrees cooler, though. The warm weather came back. I'm wearing a sleeveless sweater today and am perfectly comfortable. The weather is lovely though.

I'm thankful for sunlight. I miss it a lot when I leave work and it's already dark. It makes me want to make the most of my day during lunch time. :)

Nostalgia for the holidays

2009-10-22T10:07:00.004-05:00

This is what I am aching to sit in front of. I am aching to see my friends from a long time ago....and to bake holiday goodies and be with family and have no agenda, nothing that HAS to be done, no deadlines...just relaxation and love. I am so ready for the Holidays to get here...I'm saving up my vacation days so I can have a more significant break to spend in O'fallon. It's cold and dark and rainy today, and I'm wishing that I could turn off all the overhead lighting in my office (I hate fluorescent lighting anyway...I had only lamps in my office at Ole Miss) and turn the heat on and put on Christmas carols and drink tea. I think I could still be productive that way, and everyone would just be happier when they came in my office. I agree that it's a LITTLE early for Christmas carols...you have to at least wait until the day after Thanksgiving, but I will be ready for that day when it comes!

I've been browsing the Thanksgiving and Christmas decor on Pottery Barn's website...we still have some store credit that we need to spend in the next month or so. I'm tempted to buy some of the things I'm seeing!

for example, these lovely vases (could easily go from Thanksgiving to Christmas decor!)

I'm ordering some small poinsettias for the apartment...since we don't have room for a Christmas tree, I'm thinking I'll order some small ones and replace my silk arrangements with the live flowers for the Holidays....maybe make a display of some of our favorite ornaments on some kind of garland or something. It's bumming me out that we don't have room for a tree or anything, but we're spending Christmas either at my parents' or in Oxford, so we won't be there for Christmas day anyway...and we don't HAVE a tree, but I want one. We found one with lights already on it that is the perfect size for an apartment for $65 dollars at Lowes...maybe it will go on sale and we'll grow a few extra square feet? Possible? Who knows. For now, here's a pic of the poinsettias I'm ordering:

Doesn't it just put you in the mood for reading books and wearing sweaters and sitting by the fire? And apple cider...mmmmmmm....

no good idea for a title...

2009-10-14T08:45:00.002-05:00

I finally got around to making that apple-stuffed squash. yummy. tasted like apple pie. i tried not to remind brad that we were eating a vegetable for dessert!

In other news, it's pretty chilly outside...and it's been raining for the last 3 days. But I don't mind that so much...I kind of like it. It makes me want to be inside and productive...and CLEAN things. I'm really enjoying teaching, although this week is a little nutty. Lots of catch-up and make-up lessons right before juries, lots of extra rehearsals. Tomorrow I'm having my students all sing for each other to practice singing in front of SOMEONE... and I'm bringing them rice krispy treats to assuage their nerves (another excuse to "bake").

I'm not sure now that I will even be able to go to the race for the cure, and I'm pretty sad about it. Also, not going to the race means not getting to go to the annual foodie festival. this disappoints me a lot. there are just some circumstances that would make it BETTER for me not to go...brad has rehearsal and work, i don't want to drive there by myself, we REALLY can't afford the entry fee or the parking fee, it's supposed to be 37 degrees...but mostly the fact that we can't really spare an extra 50 dollars. which also means that we can't really afford for me to buy those boots as a reward to myself anyway.

aren't they cute though? they're by the same company that makes all my other heels that i own and wear all day long, so they have to be comfortable....but pricey. and there's no way. not right now. so i'll wait.

october has been a hard month for us. a blessed one, but a hard one. there have been some financial issues that have crept up that are normal occurrences, but still frustrating. someone let the air out of brad's tires. not very funny. his rehearsal schedule and work schedule make him really busy, and we don't like not seeing each other except in passing. we're just busy, and we're busy with good things. we just have to keep reminding each other that it won't be this way forever, and we just have to wait out the hard parts.

I go to pick up my headshots today. I hope they look good, I'm nervous about them. I'm also nervous about putting this application in the mail...that means I actually have to go do it.

i have no idea what to get brad for his birthday.

new stuff!

2009-10-11T22:38:00.006-05:00

this weekend was truly a marathon weekend, but it was worth it. brad and i drove all the way to fort worth and back in two days to pick up all our new hand-made bedroom furniture. it was quite the trip, but we had a great time with each other and spending time with some of brad's family. the furniture was made by brad's uncle trey, and it is the most beautiful furniture that i have ever seen.

here is our new bed:

isn't it beautiful?

and our new bedside tables: (brad has one that's identical on the other side)

lovely. and yes, i am reading twilight again.

and here is my favorite piece...our dresser. this is a massive piece of furniture, but it is beautiful. brad picked out and installed all the hardware on this piece and the bedside tables today. it was a big job, but obviously he did a lovely job!

we are so blessed to have such a wonderful family.

this week i am sending in my application to opera theater st. louis and i'm a little apprehensive about the whole prospect of auditions again and getting back into the swing of things. the other day, brad graciously took some new headshots for me (we can't afford a professional photographer, so we tried to match some of the things the big guys are doing in their headshots...this is what we came up with) and i think i have chosen this one to print and send:

this one turned out to be the most natural one we could get. if you saw this picture would you hire me? i hope so.

i'm missing some girl time tonight. i love that i'm in searcy, but i only have one girl friend here and she is busy with grad school (which i totally understand...i was there last year), and i'm really aching for some good girl time and retail therapy. maybe it's time to plan another trip to oxford? we'll see if the pocketbook can handle that after this month...it's been a bit of a rough month! this month we learned that life happens whether you're ready for it or not. application fees, picture printing fees, postage, flat tires, rental trucks, you name it.

in other news, the race is in less than a week. i'm not sure if i'm 100% ready, but i'm going to go and give it my best shot. i'm rewarding myself by attending the annual foodie festival right afterward. it's like a larger-than-life farmer's market, and i cannot WAIT to explore it! hopefully i'll be able to upload some pictures from next weekend too!

forks, washington

2009-10-05T09:32:00.002-05:00

that's what it looks like outside. all you twilight readers will know exactly what i'm talking about. i don't mind so much right now though. this weekend was beautiful. i spent a good portion of the day on saturday outside exercising and enjoying the weather, and then sunday it turned gray and rainy and cold...just in time for me to spend the day in the kitchen!

this weekend (after fulfilling my quest for canned pumpkin), brad and i baked pumpkin bread and loved it so much that we made pumpkin muffins too! i was also in charge of making the marinara sauce for our small group sunday night. since we had about 25 people last sunday, i prepared accordingly and created a huge pot of wonderfully bubbly goodness and took it to small group...where there were seven people present. needless to say, we have A LOT of leftovers.

so, in my attempt to cut down on the grocery bill for the week and use what's already in the fridge and pantry and STILL use some of the fall produce bounty that is available to us at our local kroger, i have found some very interesting recipes that are getting some RAVE reviews, and i can't wait to try them! first on the prep list is fall vegetable lasagna. it sounds a little weird, but it's pumpkin and eggplant and spinach all layered in with lasagna and homemade marinara (how fortunate that i have a gallon of that in my fridge!) and cheese. i'm not really sure about the pumpkin and marinara combo, but the reviews are saying it's a great flavor combo...so i'm giving it a try. i'm cooking a big pork loin this week and will have stuffed acorn squash with it one night and make sandwiches the next day and make sweet potato salad to go with it....sweet potatoes are on special this week at kroger...HUGE ones.

we'll see how the cooking for the week goes. in other news, i am in the middle of filling out all sorts of applications for auditions for the summer and next year...it's making me a little nervous, but i'm trying to take it one small step at a time. there are a couple deadlines coming up in the next week or so...and once i turn in my application, i have to SERIOUSLY practice. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!! i haven't done that enough, i guess hoping that if i don't practice, all this stress will just GO AWAY. but that's really not how it works at all.

one step at a time.

impulsive baking

2009-09-30T14:40:00.002-05:00

i am an impulsive baker. i love to cook, to prepare meals, but i've never really been much of a baker. (this has turned out to be a pretty good thing because otherwise our small apartment would be overrun with cakes and cookies and cupcakes and muffins and loaves of bread and....you get the picture)

However, some days I do get the urge to bake things. Today, the projects on my mind are:

chocolate chip meringues....yum!

and

pumpkin cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese icing.

divine? i think so. i need an occasion to bake so that i can get rid of a lot of them at once and not have them sitting around the house. except the meringues. i could eat those all by myself. that would be fine with me!

Fall and all the wonderful things that come with it

2009-09-28T12:43:00.002-05:00

I love fall. I love crisp mornings. I love wearing sweaters. I love cushy socks. I love seeing the "mum man" across from College Church displaying his fall wares.

I love going shopping for pumpkins and all sorts of squash...and I love eating pumpkins and squash!

On the menu for the week:

Butternut squash soup, roasted stuffed acorn squash, and other fall goodies. Can't wait. Brad is willing to be adventurous this week, with the promise of some good old-fashioned home-cooked asian food at the end of the week (sweet and sour stir fry!).

I am SO EXCITED about trying out all my fall recipes and going shopping for fall accessories this week. I bought a pumpkin spice candle just for fun to set the fall atmosphere at home :)

To me, fall equals blessings and bounty, and it is a great time to remember God's faithfulness to us.

rachael ray, you do not disappoint

2009-09-25T10:56:00.002-05:00

So while on the treadmill on Tuesday night, in an effort to get my mind off of the awful running feeling, I turned my attention to the food network. Subsequently, I LOVE watching the food network while I work out. I'm not sure what it is, but I just find that channel in particular helps take my focus off the i-don't-wannas. Anyway, Rachael Ray was on, and, although I'm not her biggest fan, I think that she comes up with some really interesting dishes that are generally quick, and watching her make them on tv makes me think, "hey, I can do that...easy!"

So, Tuesday, she was making a budget-friendly soup that looked so good...and come to find out I had everything I needed for that soup (minus a couple cans of beans that are super cheap at Kroger), so I decided I would give it a try. I printed off the recipe at home and gave it the old college try last night. The verdict: amazing. Brad loved it. It was hearty, flavorful, and healthy. Oh, and very easy on the pocketbook, which is paramount for us this week. So I thought I'd share the recipe!

I'm not even sure what she called the soup, but I'll call it the magic bowl of happiness for now.

I started with browning up some kielbasa sausage in the bottom of a big pot with a little olive oil (tiny bit)
Then I added a chopped carrot, 3 stalks of chopped celery, 1 chopped onion, and 3 cloves of garlic and let that all cook down till it was nice and wonderful-smelling. I also added some salt, pepper, rosemary, and thyme in there for good measure.

After that, I added 2 cans of drained cannellini (white kidney) beans, 2 c. of reduced sodium, fat free chicken stock, and 2 c. of water. I covered it and kicked the heat up to high to get it to boil. After it boiled, I dumped a cup or two of spinach and tomato pasta (the green and red kinds) down into the pot, reduced the heat, recovered, and simmered the soup until the pasta was fully cooked. There at the end, I added a little white wine and cayenne pepper for a bit of a flavor amp-up.

Brad was a little late coming home, but I thought the soup was a little watery, so I let it continue to simmer uncovered till he got home, which let some of the liquid boil off. By the time he got home, it was the perfect consistency. I topped it with a little sprinkle of parmesan, and we were good to go. Delish. It made enough for last night and for each of us to have another serving or two for lunches! Next time I'm getting some ciabatta bread to toast with garlic and olive oil.

I love cooking. I really do.

morning by morning, new mercies i see

2009-09-24T10:51:00.002-05:00

last night at our wednesday night bible study we discussed the song "great is thy faithfulness." We shared stories of how God has provided in our lives, and I was humbled by the awesome and obvious presence of God in our lives, especially since we decided to get married. We have been blessed beyond measure in every way possible.

then i woke up this morning, and like a stupid human, forgot all about that. i started stressing about money, about insurance, about paying rent (several things have come up this month that have gotten me out of sorts anyway), about my new birth control that is driving me emotionally crazy (poor brad), about the future, but most of all, about my hair. why i chose the hair to stress out about over all the others i'm not sure. i woke up with a headache and a bad hair day. i walked across campus to deposit our much-too-large insurance bill to the post office, and came back to find my hair had gone completely whacko out in the humidity.

so i just need to take a minute to discuss that, even though i am a human (and a female at that), i need to remember that God is faithful. he will provide exactly what we need. i'm finding that most of the time he even provides a little more than that. God gives good hair days and bad, he gives us money for groceries, he gives us the ability to have people into our home to praise and learn about Him. He gives us a close group of friends that we can fellowship with and learn from and be encouraged by.

so, for the second installment of small blessings, today i am thankful for:

-advil. it gets rid of my hormonal headaches (most of the time)
-in laws. they're great, they're understanding, and they sure make my husband happy when he talks to them :)
-leftovers. they make me not feel so bad about not wanting to cook something difficult.
-frozen vegetables. see above.
-PUMPKIN PIE ICE CREAM. yes, i said it. we found it in the grocery store yesterday and decided that, even though our budget was tight, it had been a rough day for us both, and we deserved a small treat. we each only had about three bites of it last night, but it was totally worth it.
-promise of a weekend. time to rest and rejuvenate and be together.
-jobs. as much as we sometimes want a break from them, they allow us to pay the bills and sustain our way of life and give to others. and we're both relatively happy about our jobs at the moment.
-jeans. yup, it's thursday, and i found a pair of jeans i had forgotten about in my closet, found the right thing to wear with them, and realized that they're the perfect length for flats. and even though it's not friday, i wore them anyway. they're dark, and they stay under my desk most of the day, and to be honest, not many people care if they're jeans as long as you look nice. which i do...aside from the hair.

Great is Thy faithfulness. Lord, unto me.

it never fails...

2009-09-21T14:35:00.002-05:00

long overdue haircut=really bad hair.

however, once i schedule the long-awaited cut, my hair turns on me. almost as if it is pleading with me not to do away with it all, it behaves. it never fails that the day before (or of) a haircut, you have the best hair day you have had in a long time.

why is that?

new leaf...or something

2009-09-16T09:47:00.004-05:00

in an attempt to start afresh (or just fresh?), i am trying to spend some time each day being thankful for my blessings. as a start today, i am going to share them here. maybe not every day, but certainly today, i am thankful for:

-bare feet. my leather shoes got soaked this morning, so i am barefoot...and very happy about it.

-coffee. i started my day with coffee and my husband, and now i'm on cup #2. from midnight oil. the faculty needed a coffee run, and i was the runner, so since it was rainy, i got a free one! i have a great job. and i love SF mr. blondes.

-rain, actually. i slept so well last night. i fell asleep to the sound of the rain on our windows, and it was heavenly. it made getting out of bed a chore, but once i was actually awake, i was rested.

-my job. it doesn't get much better than this. i mean, every job has its challenges, but i am SO BLESSED to have a full time job that pays the bills and then some. Not to mention I get to work with fun people. God is good.

-my parents. They're great.

-my in-laws. Also great. And I love that my mother in law dyed her hair red. I can't wait to see it in person, I know she looks fabulous. Now when she and I and my mom get together, we'll all look related! How funny!

-bobby pins: miracle workers on days like these.

-anti-humidity hairspray. another miracle worker.

-the ability to cook. Last night i made homemade marinara sauce. It was really good and we have bunches left over. Yum! That will make for a great quick meal one of these days.

-friends. they make everything better.

finding the answer

2009-09-15T08:58:00.003-05:00

I haven't blogged in about a week...I've been formulating what I believe to be a part of the answer to my mysterious puzzle. Whether it is the culprit or not, I think that I have an intolerance to MSG. I've been doing research all week, and my symptoms seem to line up with those of an MSG allergy or intolerance. The catalyst to all of this was our family outing to Fuji Steakhouse two weeks ago. It was delicious food, but after we went home, I could not stop ITCHING. It was miserable. I couldn't make it stop. I tried a hot shower, tried lotions, tried being very still, changed my clothes. Nothing touched it. Then, I suffered from a headache for two days. No pain medicine would make that go away. And then, to top it all off, I immediately gained those four pounds. I didn't really think anything of it for awhile until I read something on my nutrition news post (yes, I'm a nerd, I read nutrition news for fun) that turned on a lightbulb in my head. A few days later, we were having fajitas, and I didn't have time to cook the rice from scratch so I used some of that heat-up-quick pre-prepared spanish rice....and itched all night again! At that point, I grabbed the nutrition label and read the ingredients. yup, there it was:

After that, I began researching, and unfortunately, this nice little additive is in EVERYTHING. And I mean, EVERYTHING. So, my goal (since I'm not having SEVERE reactions to it) is to minimize the amounts that I eat. By preparing the majority of our foods myself, I can control how much goes in my body a little bit better. It will mean giving up a few things (like hibachi....this makes me sad), but all in all, I'm hoping it makes a difference. I'm already feeling better, and the weight is slowly coming down again. It takes me a long time to grocery shop these days because I read through every ingredient on every label, but so far so good. Last weekend we went to an asian restaurant (Ghengis Grill...if Brad had a blog, I'm sure there would be an entry about that place...he loves it), and I noticed there on the bottom of the menu two magical little words... "NO MSG" yay! Now, I'm learning that doesn't mean everything in the restaurant is completely free of it, that just means they don't add it to their food as they are cooking it, but still....good news to my ears.

Work has been going really well. It's busy, but that's better than slow. I love having people around! The 5K training is going well so far...tonight I go 2.5 miles without stopping...I'm a little concerned about that, but I think it will be fine. Most of all, we are very happy and blessed. :)

That's all for now!

two steps forward

2009-09-09T08:36:00.002-05:00

last week i was doing great with the weight loss. it seemed that i might actually be getting there. i was slowly losing weight, i had lost about three pounds in the last three weeks, i had settled into an exercise routine that i could handle while still teaching and cooking and hosting wednesday night bible study, and things seemed to be looking up. that was until today. in the last two days, i have gained four pounds. have i splurged? not once. have i skipped the gym? nope. done anything unusual? nada. tied bricks to my ankles? let me check: no.

so, to recap, i worked really hard, lost three pounds, kept working hard, gained four. what the?

i thought all this was turning around. honestly i have NO IDEA where this weight is coming from or where it's going. my clothes fit no differently, i have LOST inches around my legs and arms since i started training for the 5k. I heard temporary weight gain is normal when you start a new exercise regimen, but it's been SIX WEEKS. six. i'm really close to going to the doctor and asking him to check me out.

i'm very discouraged, but i haven't lost any of my determination. i WILL lose this. i've done it before, i'll do it again. i WILL NOT let this get out of control.

so, if you see me walking around and you see a few of these dragging behind,

just do me a favor and show me where they are so i can get rid of them.

thanks.

pan of goodness

2009-09-05T09:00:00.002-05:00

so last night after i finished my full day of work at the clinic and after i met with my first student (for over an hour...i need to learn to talk less!), i was more in the mood to sit and eat whatever i wanted than ever. i had seen this coming, so i picked out a new recipe that looked easy and delicious and sent brad to the grocery store for the ingredients. i was prepared to completely wreck my diet on this friday night.

i was going to make peach dump cake.

mmmmmmmm!

so, i got home to find that brad had "accidentally" bought the no sugar added peaches in light syrup sweetened with splenda and the 50% less sugar, also sweetened with splenda cake mix. wow! so, a little taken aback by this fortuitous happening, i decided to make it anyway, hoping that the lack of sugar wouldn't make it taste bad. halfway through the making of it, i realized i only had 1/3 of the butter i needed, but the nearest grocery store was closed, so i just used what i had and crossed my fingers.

if you don't know how dump cakes work, you dump the peaches in a pan, spread the (dry) cake mix all over the top, cover that with butter (which i just sliced some thin squares of butter and placed them randomly on top), and then i sprinkled some brown sugar, cinnamon, and honey over the top (there goes the reduced sugar....oh well). bake at 375 for 45 minutes.

even with the reduced sugar everything, it was DELICIOUS. brad went back for seconds!! he usually hates reduced sugar stuff! i will be making this again and again to take places because it is easy beyond belief, and relatively low in calories since you're not adding any oil or eggs to the cake batter. delish!!!

last night i also made that riboletta...italian soup. it was SO GOOD too! it was relatively easy and had so much flavor. we got lucky and found fresh mini-ciabatta loaves at the grocery store and they were perfect with the soup. i made enough for six servings...by the end, there was only one serving left! brad went back for seconds for that too! it's not a creamy soup, i used all reduced sodium stuff. it does have some bacon in it, but not a whole lot, just five or six slices all chopped up. it was great, and it's a great way to use up leftover veggies as well!

so i went home prepared to cook my way off my diet, and ended up sticking to it (even if by accident) and really enjoying all the dishes!

i seriously recommend that you try this dump cake, though. AH-mazing.

i think it's finally starting to work!

2009-09-04T08:34:00.002-05:00

so....slowly but surely the mysterious and unexplained weight is coming off (knock on wood). I am trying to stick to my workout plan and only cook things that are good for us...and i think it's working. the scale has gone down two pounds this week, a little at a time. that's good i think!

so, an update. the fried rice was a half-success. it was enjoyable and edible, and now we know what to do next time to make it better. my recipe didn't have just a ton of flavor, so next time i'm adding garlic and using frozen asian mix for the veggies. i tried to use fresh, but surprisingly, it just didn't work out very well. the recipe called for the bird's eye asian veggie mix, so that's what i'm going to use next time. i'm also going to get some sesame oil. i used regular old canola oil...it was just okay. i added sesame seeds in at the end, and that helped a little, but i think using sesame oil would help a lot.

last night (technically first thing yesterday morning), i put a roast in the crock pot. usually, i just cook roast with a pkg. of onion soup mix and water, but this time we did it differently. before putting the roast in, i peppered the outside really well with ground black pepper. i put it in the crock pot and doused it with worchestershire sauce and my homemade bbq sauce. i added cut up carrots and red potatoes to the mix, put it on low for 8-10 hours, and the outcome was DELICIOUS. the recipe didn't need any extra salt, no butter for the potatoes, and everything had a really nice smoky flavor without smacking of bbq sauce. we have leftovers and will DEFINITELY be doing that one again. so easy, and the roast was on half price at kroger. can't ask for better than that.

in other news, i have been asked to be the adjunct voice faculty at harding, and i am so excited about that! i start meeting with my six students today, and i am very ready. armed with the knowledge of what i should have known last year, and a full library of music available to me, I am ready for just about anything. I am hopeful that my students are excited about this too. it's so much more fun to teach eager students. i miss my kids from ole miss, but i'm excited to get started with these new kids! so, needless to say, since i will be up at school until pretty late, we are doing a quick soup that is a recipe from keri tullos and i can't wait to try it...it's a hearty italian soup that you serve over ciabatta bread (let's be honest, doesn't get much better than that!).

i'll get back to the gym some day. :) i need to catch up on my running for the week!

new adventures in cooking

2009-09-02T08:48:00.003-05:00

so i found a good recipe for chicken salad that i made yesterday...super easy, but i'm not sure it's the MOST healthy thing...but it can't be that bad for you. chicken, sweet pickle relish, grapes, chopped pecans, onion, lite mayo. yum.

on the menu for tonight: fried rice with veggies and steak with a side of edamame. i can't wait. we got a real honest-to-goodness wok for a wedding gift, and this is the first time i have used it, so last night, the big project was the "season" the wok. it isn't non-stick, it's just your everyday run-of-the-mill metal, so the instructions said this was going to be an in-depth process to keep food from sticking or burning or keep the wok from rusting.

so, armed with my bottle of oil and my wok, i dumped some oil into the basin and began to spread it around with a paper towel. i had to smear the oil all over the inside before heating it up. i then put it on the eye, and stared at it. i guess i was expecting something groundbreaking to happen, but it didn't. the wok heated up slowly, and once it was hot, i was to smear around the oil again...and i did that, and all the oil had disappeared. i guess it soaked into the metal?? i don't know. but the instructions told me to go through this process four times. that's a lot of oil, but by the end, i had a beautiful-looking wok! now, after i use it, i just rinse it in hot water and spread a new coat of oil on the inside before storing it. interesting, but i guess that's how the chinese do it... i hope the fried rice and edamame turn out well tonight. i've never attempted this so i'm a little nervous, but i'm crossing my fingers that it will turn out okay.

in other news, last night i did another long (for me) run, running 2.25 miles in about 25 minutes. I think that's a pretty good pace for me right now, and i was able to do the whole thing without stopping! I just need to tack one more mile onto the end of that and i'll be ready for the 5K. I'm getting excited because I've never set a goal like this, and it looks like it might just be within my grasp to finish! I've promised myself a new pair of boots that i've been eyeing since last year when i finish. i figure that's a better prize than, oh, say, ice cream (which would also be awesome, but much shorter-lasting).

the clinic has been ridiculously busy the last few days, but that helps the days go by really quickly. I am loving this job, and it's nice to not be completely focused on music for once. plus i work with really fun people. i can't complain. brad and i are starting our new wednesday night bible study tonight and we're thinking since the weather's been so perfect, that we'll take it to the park and be outside with all our friends and sing hymns. i'm super excited about that. :) i lead such a blessed life.

short-term goals

2009-08-31T12:42:00.002-05:00

i seem to be asking myself the same question over and over these days: now what? for the first time in my life, i don't really know what to do next. i know that the picture will become clearer as the time comes for us to start making some decisions about where we will relocate, but for now, i'm feeling very stuck. and so, i have decided to make some short-term goals. but for some reason, i don't have any desire for my short-term goals to be about music. for now.

so, here they are: (in no particular order)

1. run a 5k (well on my way...yesterday i ran 2 miles straight...pretty proud of that, and i have 7 weeks to go!)

2. lose 10 pounds (not 50, not 100, just 10...i think that's doable.)

3. save save save money in the bank....brad and i are saving for a big trip to a secret location. (if it makes, we'll announce, promise.)

4. get my recipe books reorganized. this is going to take some doing, but it will be well worth it i think.

i guess the other part to short-term goals would be deadlines. so, the deadlines are:

1. october 17th. there's also one on october 30th, but we'll see about that one.

2. christmas.

3. may. middle of may. may 15th-ish.

4. um.....november?? in time for the holidays? i haven't thought this one through yet.

so, i'm doing pretty well on my first goal. i was really proud of myself after my run yesterday, because i could have kept going, but the training regimen said stop, so i stopped. i don't want to go too far too soon and risk hurting myself all over again. i'm hoping that working on goal number one will naturally help me achieve goal number two....with a little extra help thrown in.

as far as goal 3, well, we're taking it on a month-by-month basis. september is looking promising. and we're going home in a few minutes to have omelets for lunch. better than going OUT to lunch, in light of this goal if you ask me!

the verdict

2009-08-27T21:30:00.003-05:00

okay, so the verdict on the pork? very very good, although probably not the "most amazing pork ever" as advertised, but let's just say i'll definitely be making this recipe again. it came out delicious and did not fall apart on me (which has been a problem with pork in the past for me), so we had these really nice pork medallions to eat. the gravy that went with it had a very strong flavor, so we decided not to pull it apart and put bbq sauce all over it, but slice it really thin and pour the gravy over it and store it for sandwiches. i'm planning some yummy open-faced sandwiches tomorrow with broccoli and cabbage slaw and baked beans.

tonight's adventure was the mexican casserole. it was DELICIOUS, although brad was up making toast three hours later....it is a LIGHTER recipe, so i guess it didn't quite fill him up. for all who are interested, here is the super-simple recipe:

1 can of corn, drained
1 can of black beans (or any beans you like), drained and rinsed
1/2 a white onion, chopped
1-2 bell peppers, cut into small pieces (any color you like)
1 can of chunky rotel, drained
(here you can add sliced grape tomatoes if you wish...i didn't and wished i had)
1-2 chicken breasts, cooked and pulled apart
a handful or so of light cheese
a cup or so of fat free sour cream
salt, pepper, chili powder, some cumin, and some lime juice

mix it all together and put in a greased baking pan at 350 for 30 minutes or till it's bubbly, then put cheese on top of it and put it back in the oven till the cheese is melted. i served it with enchilada sauce that i heated up and drizzled over the top.
olives would have been great on the top of it. if you like hot peppers, you should add that too, but i'm sensitive to spice.

it was so great and very very fresh. and we only ate less than half of it, so we have lunches for a few days! we were really excited about it!

we've borrowed a few seasons of friends and so now i have gone on my run and i'm watching funny television with my husband. i have a wonderful life.

weekly cooking challenge

2009-08-25T11:30:00.002-05:00

this week's challenge? buy as few ingredients as possible in order to make meals for five days.

the plan? i have picked out two "eat all week" recipes. i don't like to eat the same thing twice though, so i have found recipes that can be eaten one way, then used in a different recipe so that we have a varied menu all week...maybe.

on the agenda tonight: "the most amazing slow cooker pork tenderloin ever." yes, this is the name of the recipe i found. i figured that was a pretty tall claim, and so i just had to put it to the test. i'm going home for lunch to get it started, since it has to cook for 5-6 hours. last night i bought 2 1/2 pounds of pork tenderloin. i'm cooking it tonight in onion soup mix, soy sauce, red wine, some mustard i think...and a few other ingredients that i can't remember. the cooking juices are supposed to be made into a gravy. when i get home tonight i'm going to attempt kathy allen's potato salad (the only kind of potato salad brad has found that he likes....it MUST be served warm for him though) and some roasted zucchini. i only have four red potatoes and one zucchini, but i'm thinking that will be enough for the two of us. we will eat some of the meat, and then pull apart the rest, cover it in my homemade honey bbq sauce, and have bbq sandwiches, mixed veggie cole slaw (homemade sauce and all--no mayo for us!), and baked beans on thursday.

sounds good, right? i thought so too!

i'm trying something new for the rest of the week....mexican casserole. i usually try to stay away from casseroles, because in my experience, there is usually a lot of cheese, creamy substance, and high amounts of fat (and sodium) in them, but i found this recipe, and it sounds pretty healthy to me...not to mention VERY yummy. added bonus? i had all the ingredients in my fridge except bell peppers...can't get more cheap to make than that!!

if it is a success, i'll post the recipe for anyone who is interested.

i've made my veggie chili several times since my original post about it, but we've experimented with the ingredients some...adding different kinds of meat (i know i know, it's called VEGGIE chili, but brad can't hardly handle the idea of a meat-less chili) and veggies....it's good every time.

i watched julie and julia last weekend and liked it so much that brad decided to take me again this weekend...plus he wanted to see it. we both love cooking, and i'm beginning to love practicing her voice while i cook. it makes brad laugh, and that's always a good thing :) there are so many great things about that movie. i'm going to have to add it to my library as soon as it comes out.

in other, more exciting news: BRAD FINALLY HAS HEALTH INSURANCE!!!!! we are so happy about this, and so is our checkbook!! yay! thank you blue cross blue shield!

2009-08-20T15:17:00.003-05:00

I get SUPER annoyed when people walk around (this happens everywhere, not just in the music building) singing full voice. Humming to yourself is one thing, singing softly...whatever. But if I wanted to hear you...I'd pay you to perform somewhere where I could sit comfortably and listen. But if you're just walking to class or leaving rehearsal, keep that to yourself...especially if you're "devo singing..." or singing a top 40 hit. You may think you're a good singer...and you might be...I just don't want to hear you. If I wanted to hear you, I'd ask.

That's all.

pudding

2009-08-18T16:50:00.004-05:00

down two pounds this morning. not sure if it's because i killed myself on the treadmill...

(by the way, this woman is FAR too happy about this)

or if it's because my husband chased me around the grocery store trying to pry the pudding mix out of my hands.

maybe a mix of both. the run really did help with the pudding craving...for about five minutes.

the biggest difference

2009-08-13T16:48:00.003-05:00

as i was taking my daily walk across campus to deliver the mail this afternoon (by the way, the weather was LOVELY this afternoon at 2:00...and it's AUGUST! a cool breeze and sunshine...amazing, anyway, back to the story...), i realized what i think is the biggest difference between the ole miss and harding campuses. i will begin to name a few:

1. my first day at ole miss, i was walking to the student union (that's rebel-talk for student center for all you harding people), and walked through a giant cloud of cigarette smoke. that was different.

2. it takes more than four minutes to walk across ole miss's campus.

3. but the biggest difference is definitely the squirrels. yes. squirrels.

here at harding, we have the wonderfully fat red squirrels with bushy tails that are happy and practically domesticated. they almost seem to wave at you as you walk past them. one of my friends even kept one as a pet in the dorm once (but boy did he get in trouble!)

at ole miss, the squirrels are skinny, gray, and scrappy. for example:

one afternoon about 6:00, i was walking back across campus after a rehearsal in meek hall, and thought, since i was bored and walking alone, that i would play a little game with the squirrel in front of me and sneak up behind it and squeak. now, being used to the harding squirrels, i expected the animal to jump, squeak, turn around, cross his arms, and give me the stink eye. that's pretty typical. not this squirrel. he got the jump and squeak part right, but what happened afterward i have never been able to recreate but i'm CERTAIN that it happened, and i am not embellishing this ONE BIT. the squirrel ran up the nearest tree (all the while i'm hearing "chick chick ack ack ACK ACK chick ACK ACK ACK!!!!"), grabs the nearest acorn, continues to yell squirrelly obscenities at me, and with the final exclamation, hurls the acorn directly at my head...and nails me in the head! it hurt! after i rubbed my head to make sure there was no blood, the squirrel uttered something that sounded really close to "serves you right, you big red-head." and pranced off with it's skinny little tail high in the air.

it was at that point that i realized that i was REALLY not at harding anymore. i'm pretty sure that squirrel still has my number. every time i'm in the grove, i have to watch my back. literally. cause i know he's still there. watching. waiting.

see? terrifying.

i sadly identify

2009-08-11T09:27:00.002-05:00

so i'm reading bridget jones's diary, and while i realize that i could be doing better things with my brain, i am thoroughly enjoying myself. i sadly identify with a lot of the things she writes however, mostly about trouble with weight fluctuations...only in my case i'm not drowning sorrows in fat and alcohol (i'm going to not talk about that chocolate donut yesterday...), i'm just fluctuating madly.

now, having done my research, bridget jones refers to her weight in stones, which, if i am correct, is equivalent to about 14 pounds of weight. she begins each entry with her weight. here are some of my favorite entries:

January 1: 9 stones, 3. (but post-Christmas)
January 2: 9 stones, 4 (terrifying slide into obesity, why? why?)
January 5: 9 stones, 5 (state of emergency now as if fat has been stored in capsule form over Christmas and is being slowly released under skin)
January 15: 9 stones (excellent!)
January 16: 9 stones, 2 (from where? why? why?)
February 6: 8 stones, 12 (heavy internal weight completely vanished-mystery)
Febrary 9: 9 stones, 2 (extra fat caused by winter whale blubber)
February 23: 8 stones, 13 (if only I could stay under 9 stones and not keep bobbing up and down like a drowning corpse-drowing in fat)

i'm trying to have a sense of humor about the fact that I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS INNER BRICK CAME FROM and just go on about my day and not worry too much about it. although, it's now 9:39 in the morning, and my stomach is GROWLING. lunch isn't until noon. i had an apple and peanut butter (carefully restricted the PB however) for breakfast, and brought another apple to work...is 9:39 am too early to snack? i brought it for a snack at around 3:00.

there are brownies sitting behind me that someone brought in today. good thing i can convince myself i don't really like brownies.

*sigh* i'm going to down another 24 oz. of water (my second round this morning) and hope the hunger goes away.

doesn't this look like the perfect hunger-stopper???

grrrrrrrrr.

birthday weekend, bridget jones, and chocolate covered cookie dough

2009-08-10T09:22:00.002-05:00

so this weekend was my birthday. up until friday, i had no idea what i wanted to do to celebrate. my parents and my husband kept suggesting things to do, but nothing sounded quite right for the occasion. it wasn't until friday at noon when it hit me: the one thing i REALLY wanted to do? go to oxford. so we did. that afternoon we packed up and drove to oxford.

saturday was a full day of eating. we scheduled our day around it. it began at 10:00 am at bottletree bakery, where i had my traditional birthday breakfast: blueberry muffins. not only did we all get one thing to eat, but dad also ordered a sticky bun (yum!) for all to share, and mom couldn't resist getting an extra monkey bread (again...yum!) to pass around as well. so, full of coffee and pastry, we set off on the square to browse. i went in to a little boutique, not expecting to find a thing that i could afford or that would fit, and of course, i found the perfect summer dress. for $19. you can't get much better than that. i was so excited. we followed the square on around and came to my favorite bed and bath boutique...and they were having a sidewalk sale, everything outside for $5. there i found a coral-colored pillow sham that matches our living and bed room decor...and it was originally $60. score. after a long morning of shopping, we decided it was time for a burger. the best burger in the south, actually. phillip's grocery.

my husband was so sweet and surprised me with a book and a sweet birthday card...in addition to the gift i already knew he was getting me later that day. my grandmother gave me an antique book that is over 100 years old that her great aunt gave her when she was a teenager. it's called "the story of a young girls' wooing" and i can't wait to read it...very carefully! i got some great earrings from my other grandparents and another pair from my brother and sister in law, and later my husband took me shopping for running shoes!! we splurged a little and got me some really good ones since i'm training for this 5k. i also got me a pair of yellow sandals that i've been wanting forever...because they were 60% off!!

all in all a good shopping day...and then we went for some sushi at two-stick. my favorite. my parents had never tried sushi before, so i was a little nervous about how they'd feel about it, but they really enjoyed themselves, and brad and i loved stuffing ourselves silly with sushi.

we met up with claire and kevin at claire's new apartment and snacked on grapes and cheese and watched juno...what a fun night!....and they gave me a bag of chocolate goodness...including chocolate covered cookie dough bites.

emily gave me the bridget jones books for my birthday which i started reading this weekend. it's been a long time since i've enjoyed a book this much. i feel like, had i not gotten married and remained single into my thirties, (and if i were an english girl living in london) i could have written a lot of this book. it's my kind of humor. and it's great. so great, in fact, that brad asked me what i was reading because i was laughing so hard, and after reading him some snippets, he decided he wanted to see the movie. so last night, after we got home, we rented both of them and will watch them in installments over the next few days. he says watching these movies with me is losing him some serious man-points, but i just don't think so. i think he's gaining them in my book!!

this morning i woke up and very begrudgingly got on the scale. "oh great. i'm just asking for it. i should just skip this humiliation and wait a few days to weigh myself so i can undo all i did this weekend first."

up pops the number. seems like i should eat that way everyday. birthday cake, sushi, ice cream, burgers, cheese, muffins, monkey bread, sticky buns. oh yeah. i had lost three pounds.

(????????????????????????????what the?????????????????????)

this morning, my boss brings in chocolate covered donuts...and blueberry cake donuts (my fave)......i am resisting, but i can hear them calling my name from down the hall. and part of me thinks, "well, if the birthday cake and sticky buns (and chocolate covered cookie dough bites) and pizza helped me lose three pounds, then i SHOULD eat the chocolate covered donut, right??"

i haven't made up my mind yet.

the most frustrating thing

2009-08-03T16:14:00.002-05:00

let's just be honest for a minute. for my entire life, i have struggled with my weight. i suppose that i will continue to struggle with it for the rest of my life. it's something i'm learning to live with. i'm starting to not even think of it as a "struggle"...but more of a "challenge" or just a part of who i am. some people have big noses...some people have frizzy hair...some people have narrow feet. some struggle with weight. that would be me.

however, for the last few years, i have been doing really well with things. after discovering a hormonal imbalance and the treatment for it, the extra weight pretty much went away, and i began to be able to live life as a normal person. some days i didn't even think about my weight when i woke up. "fat days" still happen, but i can still look in the mirror and say, "oh good...i just feel fat...i don't look fat." i can deal with that.

i got engaged last year, and so, in looking forward to my june wedding, i began a strict workout regimen that involved going to the gym 6 days a week for an hour or so, doing varied cardio and weightlifting workouts, and eating well. i didn't necessarily LOSE any weight, but i toned up and was able to feel good about myself. and then, voila! it's my wedding day. i feel great about myself, i look great, and it's a perfect day. but in the back of my mind i'm thinking "i'm about to go on a week-long trip that involves lots of food and cake and no gym time...oh boy." what did i find when i got back? i had lost five pounds. five. amazing.

and then i began rehearsals for my show...every night from right after work until bedtime. plus, i had no gym membership. this went on for a month. i even ate chocolate pie and gummie bears backstage during most performances. what happened? lost another three pounds.

last week, i decided to go back to the gym. i began my bodypump class and began a training schedule for a 5k. i worked out 5 of 7 days last week, and tried to stay active during the day and still eat well. this time what happened?

i gained seven pounds. seven. in one week. that's a pound a day. this morning, i stood in front of a mirror for a very long time...and you know what the most frustrating thing was? i couldn't tell i had gained any weight. if i gained seven pounds...where did it go?!?!

so now, i have a phantom seven more pounds to shed, and i'm unsure whether i should keep on my training schedule. i'm going to stick to it...there's just no way exercise could be the PROBLEM...and i'm going to be extra-diligent about my diet this week.

i just have to remember that this journey to weight-loss and general health is not only a long road, it is most likely a never-ending one. one that i will walk until the day i die. i find a lot of joy in meal-planning and eating well, i love physical activity, and i love feeling good, so there's really nothing to complain about, and i know that this is not the first nor the last of the many setbacks that i have and will encounter...sometimes it just helps to vent about it.

irony and BBQ sauce

2009-08-01T22:59:00.004-05:00

yesterday, friday, my dad signed my car over to brad and me and transferred the deed and we began paying car insurance for it.

today, i walked out of our apartment, hands full of dirty clothes hampers, and see this:

ironic, isn't it? i called brad at work...only problem? he's at work. so...i check the tire pressure...just for fun, to make sure i'm not just dreaming that it's flat. oh, it's flat. only 10 PSI. unfortunately, checking the tire pressure is the ONLY thing i know how to do when it comes to my tires. so, reluctantly i call my dad and explain the problem. he laughs hysterically.

the good part of this story: we live close enough to the tire place that i was able to drive it out there (carefully!) and get them to look at it. huge surprise: there's a nail in it! i now know that it's relatively cheap to fix this problem though...it only cost me 13 dollars! so now my tire is good as (almost) new, and i know what to do if that ever happens again and my husband is out of commission.

i spent the rest of the day doing random things...laundry, folding clothes, cleaning the apartment, working on the wedding book.

this weekend, i have begun my couch potato to 5k running plan. i once could run 3 miles at a time, and i would like to return to this practice by october and be able to actually participate in the race for the cure in little rock. the first two days haven't been so bad...the plan starts you easy. i'm doing the accelerated version for the first few weeks. it feels good to be running again, i must say...which is something i never thought i would say.

tonight, we went over to mom and dad's and grilled out...brad and i supplied the corn and bbq sauce...don't knock the combo till you've tried this bbq sauce with corn and lemon juice. amazing. and then, SURPRISE, mom and dad bought an OUTDOOR FIRE PLACE! so weird, but we sure had fun roasting marshmallows and making s'mores...my mom was like a 12 year old again...one of the cutest things i've ever seen. then brad and i played "hand and foot" with mom and dad. it was a nice change to play cards instead of watch a movie. i can't remember the last time mom played cards. we had a great time.

so far, it's been a refreshing weekend. maybe we'll go to the lake tomorrow. or at least the pool. we'll see!

please just do it

2009-07-31T09:10:00.002-05:00

i just spent the last hour sitting at my computer in my office BY MYSELF, laughing my head off. seriously, laughing so hard i cried. this is the best blog EVER.

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

if you do one good thing for yourself today, THIS should be it. brilliant.

in other news, last night i tried two experiments: low-cal veggie chili and homemade gummies. the chili was fantastic. brad LOVED it, it was very hearty and delicious. and so cheap to make! i will be hanging on to this recipe for a long time! now, as far as the homemade gummies go, the best thing i can say about them is that they did come out to be the right consistency. they tasted awful though. part of that may be that brad got the cherry kool-aid to flavor them with and i really can't stand cherry flavor, so we'll have to try one more time before i totally throw the recipe out, but it's not looking too good. and now i have about 10 gummy squares i need to get rid of.

so glad it's friday!

july??

2009-07-30T08:39:00.002-05:00

i can't believe july is all but over. i also can't believe it's been in the 80s for the past three weeks. what a blessing. it almost doesn't feel like summer. we've been married for almost six weeks! it just gets better and better.

yesterday, i was window shopping with what little extra time i had before church while brad was at the bookstore. I was really rainy and dreary outside, and i stepped into bath and body works to look around, and it hit me: i can't WAIT for christmas! there is something about the bustling around when it's cold and snowy outside looking for the perfect gift for everyone on your list that i just love. i'm thankful for the summer we've had...i'm going to even try to sneak in a couple days at the lake here in the next few weeks, but i'm really looking forward to the cooler months too...making lots of soups and hot drinks and cookies (uh oh.) and watching movies under big warm blankets. love it. i rarely get these cravings for winter in JULY though...usually around the end of october when the weather refuses to change i start to feel this way.

last night after church, brad and i went home and stretched out on our couch and watched a great movie. it was so nice to finally be at home with my husband at night. since the show's over, we've had people over or have gone over to friends' houses every night, and last night was our first night in...it reminded me that, yes, i do love spending time with just him and yes, he is my best friend, in every sense of the word. what a great feeling.

i got up this morning to pouring rain, and by the time i got to work, i had already had an extra shower. so i'm air-drying at the moment and my hair looks slightly similar to a wet rat's. oh well. i'm going back to the gym tonight at 5:30 for the second installment of bodypump. i will be sore again tomorrow, but hopefully the soreness will get less and less the more i go. maybe the weather will clear off enough on friday that we can go to the pool after work! that would be amazing.

new name, new goals

2009-07-27T15:31:00.003-05:00

well...my name is officially changed...in the eyes of the federal government, the bank, my employer, and the DMV. i have all new IDs with my new name and a bank account with my name and my husband's name on it. i'm officially alice-anne light. it's strange to change your name all of a sudden after almost 24 years, but it has a nice ring to it, and i'm getting used to it!

i'm glad to have the show done with. it was a great process, but i don't think i realized just how tired i was. friday night we went to the frye's for the cast party and only stayed until midnight, but i had to get up early the next morning to sing at graduation, and the whole time i was sitting there waiting to sing in front of hundreds of people, i was thinking "i can't wait to go back to bed!" and that's exactly what i did. after the ceremony, i went home, and laid down. i only meant to sleep for 45 minutes or so, but i woke up over four hours later. we had a great closing night, but we were up late striking and then mom and dad had us over for coffee and baked brie. yummy...but we were so tired!

yesterday, i rejoined the gym. i have big plans for getting back in shape. i went to the new launch party for bodypump 70...let me tell you, it's definitely the hardest version i've ever done, but i'm hoping that means results, results, results!! after i finished doing that and 30 minutes of cardio, i laid by the pool for an hour...and there was almost no one there. how blissful. tonight i have big plans to start my "couch potato to 5k" plan (i'm wanting to train for the race for the cure in october...we'll see how that goes), and after that, brad's going to meet me at the pool and we're going to go swimming for the first time this summer! after that, i will go home and cook dinner out of the measly leftovers we have from last week. i have enough stuff to make homemade marinara, and there's pasta and a little chicken...and a bell pepper. i can make something edible from that i think. we're planning a big grocery trip for after dinner tonight if we have the energy, so my assignment for the next hour is to make out a menu/shopping list for the week. this is one of my most favorite activities!

in the last few weeks, i have again realized just how much i love to perform, but i have also realized how ready i am to get paid to do it. it is, after all, what i have gotten two degrees in, and how i plan to make my living, so i really don't see how it's fair for people to keep asking me to do things for free. people around here don't really understand that though, so that's why i'm super-thankful to have my full time job that allows me to participate in things without needing the compensation...at least for this year.

being married is just becoming more and more of a blessing day after day. it was good in the beginning, but as we learn how to be together and how to work as a team, things just get more and more fun. we laugh more and more everyday. it's such a wonderful blessing to come home to someone who loves me unconditionally and who shows me how to live life to the fullest everyday. i hope that i am as good to him as he is to me, although i'm not really sure if that's possible (however cliche that sounds...it's true).

in other news, my body is so very very sore from yesterday's workout. i look funny walking around. i knew it would happen. the first bodypump session always does this to me, but it's so worth it. i have never tried any workout plan that provides such results! i can't wait to feel great about myself again!

since i've gotten married....

2009-07-24T15:32:00.002-05:00

there are a few interesting things that have happened since i have gotten married. most involve wardrobe or makeup malfunctions:

because my husband does not get up at the same time i do, i usually get dressed in the semi-dark. this has caused a few problems, such as:

i got to work the other day and realized a great big marinara stain on the front of my white shirt. that would have been nice to have noticed before i left the house.

today i got to work (after having my drivers license picture taken!) and realized that i was wearing gold hoops, a silver necklace, a black undershirt, a brown skirt and gold shoes. i'm kind of a mess.

one day, i forgot that i hadn't put on makeup...until i got to work.

i have also gotten to work to find that you can see my purple bra straight through my pink shirt....and i didn't notice this in the dark.

i may need to invest in a full-length mirror for the bathroom.

living with a boy is interesting. they don't really do things the same way that girls do. today, i was really hungry when i got up, and i poured myself a generous bowl of cereal for breakfast and topped it off with our milk that brad bought two days ago. i started eating it and thought, "man, this cereal tastes weird..." after thinking about it for a second, i returned to the milk jug for a sniff. sure enough, sour. "we just bought this two days ago!" i thought. i checked for the expiration date. there was none (now, this is totally the fault of the company. that milk should have never been on the shelf in the first place). so, i dumped my precious cereal down the drain, put some toast in our new toaster, and walked back to the bedroom to wake brad up to tell him that the milk had just gone bad so he didn't make the same mistake and we lose more cereal...

"brad, i just wanted to let you know that the milk is bad...we're gonna have to buy more before we can have cereal."

"oh...i was wondering why it tasted funny yesterday..."

YESTERDAY??? it tasted funny yesterday????? i just shake my head. bless him.

i can't complain too much though. yesterday, when i walked in the door, the table was set and dinner was ready...burgers, baked beans, and warm veggie salad left over from sunday. i think i'll keep him.

heartache

2009-07-23T15:11:00.004-05:00

sitting here in this chair hour after hour and day after day really gets me hurting for my favorite places. today, especially i am missing scandicci and florence, italy. this is only made worse by the fact that one of my best friends is moving there in a month and i can't go with her. i didn't realize how good i had it when i would see this on a regular basis:

i miss the food. i miss the people. sometimes i miss the crazy homework. i miss the computer lab (this was before facebook really took off too, so we blogged...and blogged...and emailed...the old-fashioned way). i miss the long walks, the getting lost, the long lines at the train station, the euro, the gelato, the chaco tan lines, the same 7 tshirts i wore the entire summer, complaining that the dryer was shrinking our clothes when in reality, it was the pasta. i miss doing the dishes with meredith after dinner and turning the radio up really loud and squirting each other with the sink hose. i miss the long runs up the hill and the long walks down to bus 16. i really miss the san lorenzo market. my wallet does not.

i miss these girls. we will more than likely never be all together ever again, spread across the world from boston to shanghai...but we sure had fun for the three months we were together.

this is us in the boat that we rented off the coast of agrigento in southern italy. we took the boat out into the water for the entire afternoon and feasted on cherries and oranges that we bought from a local fruit stand. i will never forget that day as long as i live. we sang pirate songs and made up stories about piranas. it sounds dumb, but these girls know exactly what i'm talking about.

that's it. i'm saving my pennies. i have to go back there someday. and i need to find the rest of my pictures from that summer. they're on a disk somewhere. i would love to look at them all again.

dear HUF, four years later, i still miss you greatly.

back to the stage

2009-07-22T10:47:00.002-05:00

tonight i go back to being an actress. i have really enjoyed my two days off. REALLY enjoyed them. but i missed the show. it's such a fun show and i have such a good time doing it. it's interesting though, i've never done a show over two weekends before, and so having had two days off, i'm afraid that all the lines and dance moves and lyrics have leaked out of my brain. but we have a rehearsal tonight to review and refresh so i'm sure we'll be fine.

i need to post a picture of me in my habit...maybe this week i'll remember to take my camera backstage. i'm SERIOUSLY considering wearing my habit on saturday morning when i have to sing "climb ev'ry mountain" at graduation...wouldn't that be hysterical? i'm sure dr. burks wouldn't find it as funny as i would, but gosh, that would be funny. i honestly might feel less ridiculous singing it in a habit than singing it for real.

scott surprised us last night and came over...it was so fun, and instead of me cooking dinner, the boys made pancakes, eggs, and sausage, and i got to watch. it was wonderful. we all got to visit for a nice long time, and it was really fun. so good to see him.

i have truly enjoyed this show process, but i'm ready to settle into a real life routine with brad...we haven't done that yet. i've been in rehearsals since before the wedding. i'm ready to rejoin the gym and get back in shape. i'm ready to be able to go to wednesday and sunday night church on a regular basis and when i go not feel like i have to rush off to rehearsal. i love being on stage, but i've never done that and had a full time job before. it's tough working from 8 in the morning to 11 at night. i'm ready to get paid to perform though. i've thoroughly enjoyed this one. what a good one to return to searcy with!

i also need to post pics of our apartment and my new short hairdo! i love it, it's so much more professional, and people actually say it makes me look older this time! i've always thought short hair made me look like a little girl, but not this time! i love it!

friends lunch today at mcalisters and i am pumped!! yay!

retail therapy, italian food, and HP6

2009-07-21T12:05:00.002-05:00

last night was great. exactly what i needed. and the best part? brad found a flat pillow on sale for 8 dollars and that pillow i am convinced has saved our marriage. last night was the first night i slept through the night and brad did not snore!! yay! who knew it would be such an easy fix? the night before, we had ended up fighting with each other in our sleep because he was snoring and laying on his back, and i was trying to get him to turn over, but he was convinced that he had already turned over...that was fun. but no longer! thank you, $8 flat pillow!

we had a great time at olive garden...brad's dish was a lot better than mine, but mine was twice as big, so i'm having it for lunch today too! and...how great is this...we got gummy bears at the movie! my favorite!

as for HP6: let me preface my review by saying a few things. 1. I have deep down not really liked any of the previous movies, and have spent much of them squirming in my seat because it feels like i have sat there for six hours. 2. it has been two years since i have read all of the books, so i remember the high points, but the fine points i have forgotten.

needless to say, my expectations were not high. i was pleasantly surprised, however! when the movie ended, i literally sat up and said "that's it?? it's over??" because it felt like i had only been sitting there an hour or so. if i remember correctly, this movie hit all the high points of the story. let's face it, some details had to be left out. the movie was already 2 1/2 hours long...i didn't want to sit through another 3 just to get all the details in. i'm hoping they'll expound a bit on some of the things that were left out in this next movie. so, all in all, it was a positive movie-going experience, made even better by the presence of my husband and some gummy bears.

we have big plans tonight to make a serious dent in season 4 of LOST. i have planned an indoor picnic for us involving baked balsamic salmon, a variety of cheeses, a baguette, and an assortment of grapes and possibly some steamed asparagus. but before we can enjoy the food-a-plenty and LOST, we have to get everything we bought yesterday (and everything i'll get from store credit at hallmark this afternoon) washed and put away, the bedroom clean and picked up, the bathroom scrubbed, and the house dusted. all in all, this should take less than an hour...our apartment is tiny. but since it's tiny, it starts to look cluttered and messy if you sneeze wrong, and tonight is my one night off before the craziness begins again, so i'm gonna take the time to get that stuff done. it really is amazing how you can turn into a neat freak when it's your home. it's happened to both of us. brad makes the bed most mornings and washes the dishes he uses! isn't he great?

i love my life :)

month-iversary blessings

2009-07-20T13:03:00.003-05:00

brad and i have been married for a month!

in some ways it seems so much longer than that though. a lot has happened in a month. the wedding, the honeymoon, the move, the rehearsals, the show. lots of changes shoved into this one month. i'm ready for life to slow down just a bit. i'm looking forward to tonight a lot. brad and i are going to little rock to finish our exchanges and hopefully get some retail therapy in with our gift cards, followed by a nice dinner at olive garden (yay date gift cards!), and if we have time and energy, harry potter! it's my first non-rehearsal or performance night in a very long time, and i'm excited to get to spend it having fun and celebrating.

tomorrow we are doing all our returns here in searcy, and so hopefully after today's returns and tomorrow's, our home will be complete! i need to post some pictures of our new apartment so everyone can see it. it's little, but it's so cute and we are loving having a place of our very own!

we're a little over halfway done with nunsense, and i must say that it has been such a fun ride. it's been nice to be performing here in searcy again, for people who have watched me mature as a performer my entire life. it's been nice to be in a goofy role again. and it's REALLY nice that i'm wearing a nun's habit and don't have to do serious hair-fixing before the show. what a relief! my hair is enjoying the break from large amounts of hairspray as well!

i'm ready to start reading again. i say this and look at my desk and there are three books piled on my desk just waiting to be read. there's "no debt no sweat," a gift from my in-laws. i SHOULD really read that one ASAP i know. on top of that is "new moon," the second book of the twilight series. i've read it before, and i'm trying to get through it before the movie comes out at christmas, but this book is just so depressing and hard to get through!! on the floor next to those is julie andrews' "home." i have also read five or six chapters out of it, and it is a very good read, but it's a little slow. she had such an interesting childhood though, one i would never had imagined that she had. i also have a cookbook here that i'm reading through that i just received today as a wedding gift. so, needless to say, i shouldn't ask for suggestions for a good book, because i have several, but you know that feeling when you're in the mood to read something, but you're just not sure what it is? that's the mood i'm in. makes me miss square books.

speaking of square books, there are SO MANY things that i miss about oxford. number one, i miss my friends. i miss newks. i miss my gym. i miss the square and window shopping. i miss studying at uptown, surprisingly. i miss my little tiny office. i miss the practice rooms. i miss good sushi. i miss grape and cheese night.

don't get me wrong, i am so happy to be married and to be in searcy, but i am missing the good things about oxford. this just means i need to go for a visit again sometime soon. especially before some of my friends move off to chicago for their new graduate school.

i also don't think it's hit me that i'm not going back to school. i keep getting this feeling in my gut about august and how the stress is about to hit and classes are about to start and summer's almost over....and then i remember...i'm not going back to school this time! oh sure, things will get more busy around the clinic when school starts, but that's not the same. i can leave work at work and not have to worry with homework and late nights studying for tests and doing research in the library. hallelujah that's over!

on the menu list to try this week:

a new summer soup recipe that is under $5 and will last us a week of lunches. i'm on the hunt for the recipe. i think i have it narrowed down to three or four...now i just have to pick one! yesterday, brad and i had barbequed chicken with my homemade bbq sauce....AMAZING. and i also made warm veggie salad...potatoes, peppers, onions, tomatoes, all roasted and tossed with a lime vinagrette...amazing as well. both were big hits at our table! we lead such a blessed life!

my new passion

2009-07-15T14:59:00.004-05:00

time for a new look. and time to stop blogging about how tough school is. school is over.

now i get to remember what real life is like. honestly, i'm not sure i've ever experienced "real life." i'd like to think that life is life, no matter where you are or what you're doing or going through. it's all just a piece of the puzzle. so i'm on to the next piece.

i have discovered a new passion...one that doesn't involve music and that is serving as a major outlet for me. i love to cook. and i love to cook nutritious and tasty things that are practical for my kitchen, my body, and my pocketbook.

i have realized that i love to make lists. does this make me type A? sure hope not. but one of my favorite things to do is to make out a weekly menu and then a grocery list. i love deciding exactly how much of what to cook so that we can have leftovers on the nights that are busy. my philosophy on leftovers though? never eat the same thing twice. always make it into something else so no one will know it's leftovers. this is way more fun. also another one of my new favorite things to do? make a salad out of cans of veggies and beans combined with interesting fresh veggies.

one of our absolute favorites (good for a dip, to stuff in tortillas, over lettuce, or just by itself) we like to call guacamole salad.
1 can of black beans, rinsed
1 can of corn, rinsed
(i like to add a can of garbanzo beans, but brad doesn't like the texture, so i make hummus out of them)
1 container of grape tomatoes, halved
1 avocado, sliced into small pieces
1 yellow bell pepper, seeded and diced up (sometimes i'll add another green pepper too if i'm feeding a bunch)

make a vinaigrette out of lime juice, olive oil, cayenne pepper, salt, pepper, and garlic.

i usually put the avocados in last and don't add them into any salad i'm saving for another day.

this makes enough to feed about six people, or for us to eat on the whole week, and it stays good for about four days (without the avocado). If you cut everything up small enough, it makes a great salsa dip. and it's relatively cheap to make for a week.

i am so lucky to have a husband that puts up with my constant experimenting...and he actually seems to like most of it.

i tried out a recipe for homemade bbq sauce this last week as well, and let me tell you, that is absolutely the best bbq i have ever tasted, even if i did make it. We bought enough of the ingredients to make several recipes of it to keep on hand...much cheaper than buying ready-made bbq sauce and WAY more tasty! it took about an hour on the stove to simmer, but it's really easy. just throw everything together and let it sit on the stove all day. and it makes your home smell amazing. it's sticky...really sticky...perfect for finger-lickin' good meals. i'm not going to include the recipe here cause it's pretty long, but if anyone needs a good bbq recipe, i've got one!!

i know that our next place we live needs to have a big sunny window so that i can have my own indoor herb garden. i love to use fresh herbs but buying them in the store is just absolutely ridiculous. every once in awhile i'll splurge and buy a big container of basil and have fresh pesto. but that's for special occasions. i'm also considering trying to grow some of my own veggies. i love heirloom tomatoes (although my dad has tried for years unsuccessfully to grow tomatoes...) and would love to be able to grow them. tomatoes and squash. maybe some corn? i'm turning into my grandmother. this is not a bad thing. there's something to be said about being able to be partially self-sufficient, especially these days.

maybe someday i can have a little piece of land to grow things on. maybe then i'll be the gardening opera singer. are there gardens in large cities? or do they have opera companies in small-town america? maybe i should start one.

2009-06-02T09:47:00.003-05:00

my goodness.

well a lot has happened in five months.

i was carmen. i gave my masters recital. i graduated with my masters degree.

and in 18 days i'll have a new name and a new home.

time sure does go by fast when you're busy. there's not just a whole lot to say. i'm ready for this transition. i'm ready to see all our friends and family in one place.

one thing that stands out during this entire time of craziness: blessings. i am unbelievably blessed, in many many ways. i have an incredible man that is about to be my husband who is so supportive and understanding. we have an incredible family who has blessed us in more ways than we even know. we have incredible friends.

i couldn't ask for more.

re-motivation

2009-01-20T22:29:00.003-06:00

i have realized that i am getting married in five months. while i am super excited about this, i also realized that these are my last five months to have that time that is dedicated to me alone...and so, i have pledged to take really good care of myself and to pamper myself just a little bit before my wedding day. and so, in honor of this new decision, i am signing up with a friend for a gym membership here in oxford. i have a little extra money left from christmas, and i think that the best thing i can do for myself is to really take control of my health and my self-image and give myself that boost that i need to feel confident and beautiful and care-free on my wedding day. i don't want to be standing up front worried about arm jiggle or a double chin (not that i would be ALL that worried, but still). i don't want any of those thoughts on that day. i want to feel amazing and look like i feel. i want to do it for ME, not for anyone else (my wonderful husband-to-be has assured me that he doesn't care about or notice arm jiggle). and so, during one of the most hectic semesters of my life, i hereby pledge to take care of myself and to take the time that i deserve for me, to be diligent and purposeful about the state of my life, room, surroundings, body, and attitude, and to enjoy these last five months of single-hood.

i think that's the only way that these next five months will be bearable. i don't want to wish this time away because i'm looking forward to being married, so i'm going to make the most out of what i choose to look at as an opportunity instead of a time to just wait out.

i'll try to keep you updated.

anyway

2008-11-30T21:59:00.002-06:00

i love this song...a good friend of mine sang it a couple years ago and it was truly an inspiration to me, and i recently rediscovered it and thought it was really worth sharing. this is how i try to live my life.

anyway

you can spend your whole life building something from nothing
one storm can come and blow it all away.
build it anyway.

you can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
and you know it might not ever come your way.
dream it anyway.

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good.
and when i pray, it doesn't always turn out like i think it should.
but i do it anyway.

this world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe
that tomorrow will be better than today.
believe it anyway.

you can love someone with all your heart for all the right reasons
and in a moment they can choose to walk away.
love them anyway.

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good.
and when i pray it doesn't always turn out like i think it should.
but i do it anyway.

you can pour your soul out singing a song that you believe in
that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang.
sing it anyway.
sing it anyway.

i sing, i dream, i love anyway.

2008-11-16T17:13:00.002-06:00

All afternoon I've been sitting next to the fire doing my french transcriptions and translations for my diction project. I've been listening to some really great music (Over the Rhine), and just enjoying the cloudy coldness that is outside the window. Right now there are eight deer in the pasture and some turkeys. (makes me want to eat thanksgiving dinner)

Every semester at this point, right before Thanksgiving, I get into this terrible funk. Call it what you will, but I just have a hard time applying myself for long periods of time. The time that I do apply myself, I get a lot done, but I start to feel like I might grow roots into the floor if I don't move soon. I feel really heavy and weighed down, and I guess that's due to the stress of getting everything done, but I almost enjoy that exhausted feeling that keeps me focused on what it is I'm doing. And today, the fire makes it nice. So nice, in fact that I DO NOT want to leave to go to my dress rehearsal for the orchestra/choir recital that I'm soloing on. I would love so much to just be able to do my projects and write my paper alone by the fire till my eyes are so heavy they can't stay open anymore, but I have to go sing instead. I love singing, I really do....but moderation isn't only healthy for dieting.

As for the book issue, we have decided that it would be impossible to agree on a book, so we've decided to just read our own books, but read them next to each other... Unfortunately, I have so many other things to do over Thanksgiving that I've decided to get a head-start on my book of choice so that I might actually finish it in a week. It's nothing deep like those that have been suggested, but I figured that I needed a mental vacation as well, and so I have chosen, "Suck Your Stomach In and Put Some Color On: What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters That the Rest of Y'all Should Know Too." It's pretty hilarious. Full of one-liners (none of which are new to me...sadly enough) and good ole' southern down-home recipes and a lot of funny stories that I feel like I have lived myself. It's fantastic and just what I needed at this point.

I must go warm up for my rehearsal and leave this glorious fire...and I'm a little bit sad about it.

The recital has officially been moved to April 26th (a Sunday), so please don't show up Valentine's Day weekend.

five days.

2008-11-12T21:12:00.003-06:00

i need a suggestion of a book to read. here are the stipulations:

-no self-help or inspirational titles.

-some sort of fiction is prefered.

-brad and i want to be able to read it together, so nothing too mushy or too action packed...preferably just a good story.

-maybe something funny? witty? along those lines?

-historical is usually good.

ian and j cliff i am especially depending on you for your input.

2008-11-03T19:57:00.002-06:00

i'm pretty sure i want to be julie andrews.

i signed up for online bill pay for my phone bill just for the free ringtone.

i'm looking forward to getting out of oxford for a few days, even if i'll be singing the whole time and be broke when i get back.

i forgot how much i love to wear formal dresses. especially red ones. look out.

daylight savings time makes me want to go to bed earlier. like, at 7.

is there a way you can make your hair grow faster?

i'm craving shoes. any and all kinds.

dates

2008-10-29T21:31:00.002-05:00

i'm pretty sure that i will be moving my recital. with all the commitments that have been added to my schedule in the last six weeks, i just don't think it's possible to get it ready by feb. 14th. so therefore, i am looking at march 7th, march 14th (although that is the least desirable date) or april 25th. any input?

i am performing four songs tomorrow, i have entered two new competitions, i got my official letter of confirmation for our scenes competition (oh i still have to raise a thousand bucks for that...oops) today, i have more than one rehearsal most days for the upcoming performances, carmen auditions are around the corner, NATS is next weekend, i now have rehearsals THROUGH each weekend, we will start rehearsing cenerentola (and carmen...once it's cast) very soon...oh yeah, and my recital.

i love to sing, but seriously, this is a little much. not to complain, or anything, but i'm SERIOUSLY looking forward to thanksgiving and christmas break.

one good thing: all this insanity is making time move a lot faster.

2008-10-26T20:48:00.001-05:00

I AM DONE!!!!!!!!

i can now sleep.

2008-10-25T12:26:00.002-05:00

i would love to never EVER relive this week again. don't get me wrong, i love performing, but it would be nice if i could concentrate on that for once instead of everything else i've had to do to get this show on its feet. and it's not over yet. as soon as strike is over and the costumes have been shipped back correctly (thank you no instructions, just a threat that we'll be charged if it's not done correctly), i'll be able to take one deep breath before i charge headlong into my other important performances of the semester that are stacking up one right after the other until christmas.

i am so ready to be done with this degree. it's a good thing i didn't know what i was in for when i signed my contract. if i had known, i probably wouldn't have signed it. but i keep hearing that it will all be worth it...and so i'm trusting that that's true.

i'm sad i'm not in searcy right now for homecoming to see all my wonderful friends. i'm also missing brad's birthday this weekend...that's not so great either. so combine that with my mediocre feelings about this show process and my already-homesick-ness, and you can begin to imagine how i feel. hence, i have gotten out of bed for an hour, will go to lunch with my brother, and will promptly come back to bed for the rest of the afternoon before i have to get up and get ready for the show tonight. i'm trying to do laundry here and there, but i'm just not that motivated. i did the crucial one load the other day, so i'm set for at least a few more days before it gets crucial again...

i miss you.

facelift

2008-10-07T21:53:00.002-05:00

in all my spare time i've given my blog a face lift.

thoughts for the evening:
--wake me up november 5th and tell me who won.
--i have gotten into the habit of relying on advil to calm my swollen vocal cords after a long day.
--not sure if the above is healthy or not.
--i miss my razor phone. i hope the thief in Qingdao is enjoying it.
--sometimes i like to try to forget that i'm getting married in june so that when i remember again i get REALLY excited. when your wedding is two hundred and fifty-something days off and most everything is done, you have to invent ways to stay excited.
--in the last four days i have sung about 15 hours. hence the previous advil statement.
--i have this weird urge to get fake nails, although i know they would drive me nuts.
--i actually roasted marshmallows over a fire last weekend for the first time in who-knows-how-long.
--i can't go home till thanksgiving. this depresses me severely. so much so that brad sent me flowers today...but oxford floral forgot to deliver them to me. maybe i'll get some tomorrow...
--i'm having headshots taken in the morning for my national opera competition.
--i have to write a resume by saturday.

--being a starving artist is REALLY expensive. i don't think people realize that's why we're starving.

abyss

2008-10-05T16:19:00.002-05:00

it's at this point in the semester that i feel like i'm staring into a great abyss that is the rest of the semester and it seems to be never-ending. i'm making plans for thanksgiving and christmas already, but that feels like LIFETIMES away...and our wedding seems even further away. these are the days that it's a struggle to get from today to tomorrow...i feel like i'm trudging through mud! i have so much to do and so much to get ready for...but nothing is URGENT yet, so things are moving pretty slowly. mid-terms are pretty close by, so that's my first goal.

i have spent the last three hours cleaning and cleaning and sweeping and scrubbing...it's like spring cleaning...in october. i did all my laundry, including sheets and towels that have been piled up, opened the windows, aired every corner out...swept, mopped, scrubbed, lysol-ed, moved out the summer clothes and in the fall clothes, arranged my closet, re-folded everything in every drawer (amazing how much SPACE that makes!!), scrubbed the bathroom, and now i've got good-smell candles burning (the smell of cleaning products really irritates my nose), and i'm pretty happy, although it would be PERFECT if i could just take a nap in my fresh new room...alas, i have to transcribe german poems into IPA.

on a good note, though: the sky has been perfect for over a week, i DID NOT get a sunburn yesterday at the grove/game, i roasted marshmallows last night with some awesome friends, and my voice is doing well. I think I might be ready for this upcoming week...or slowly getting there. I'm going to study now so i can have some serious "me-time" tonight.

i know it will be over before i know it...i just hope "it" hurries up!!

i spoke too soon...

2008-09-28T22:07:00.002-05:00

since i wrote the last entry, i have had five new performances/auditions/recording sessions added to my schedule. now it looks like i don't get to go home till thanksgiving and i have something big every weekend.

grad school is kicking my butt.

i've never practiced so much in my life. it feels like i'll never run out of music to learn, and these days, i pretty much carry a lysol can around with me. don't give me any germs. i can't get sick now.

this is my life for eight more months......

next time i come up for air i'll have a new last name...

dates my life revolves around right now:

2008-09-09T21:22:00.001-05:00

October 24-26, 2008 Opera Scenes

January 8-11, 2009 Nat'l Opera Association Opera Scenes Competition, Washington D.C.

February 14, 2009 Masters Recital

March 26-28, 2009 Carmen

May 9, 2009 Graduation

June 20, 2009 Wedding

my life isn't hectic at all.

the singer's posture

2008-09-03T20:50:00.003-05:00

I have some serious issues about the "singer's posture." Let me preface this by saying that my choir is singing Handel's Messiah this year and I am SO EXCITED about that. This weekend we have our first marathon rehearsal weekend, and we are being warned that we must be "in the singer's posture" the entire time. For those who don't know (though most of you do), there should be space between you and the back of the chair, you should be sitting upright on the edge of the chair, and your score should be out in front of you level with the conductor so that you don't have to look down to read the notes.

Here is how this translates:

We have "posture chairs" already in our rehearsal hall. These are designed to promote good posture while sitting. While I would LOVE to use the chairs as they were designed to be used, it is insisted upon that we sit ON THE LIP of the chair...this way your legs will fall asleep in a matter of about twenty minutes so that you couldn't move if you wanted to. Next, we must sit completely upright. Fine. Shoulders back, abs in (for four hours...), head balanced, you got it. Only let's throw in a complication. Hold a four pound weight out in front of you at eye level. See, this is fine for about...oh, forty-five seconds. After that, your neck, shoulders, triceps, biceps, upper and middle back, and other various areas begin to burn. I was under the impression that you were supposed to sing WITHOUT tension, not sit in such a way to create it. So you sit in this position for about four hours and go home, go to bed, and wake up the next morning so sore you know you can't possibly take another four hours of that.

Here is what I propose:

I'm positive that someone designing "posture chairs" knew a little something about posture. These chairs actually work really well if you sit all the way back, your back against the chair, sit up straight, shoulders back (the back hits right below the shoulder blades so they aren't fighting for position with the chair back...brilliant), both feet flat on the floor, and arms in at the sides, bent at the elbow, holding the book up and still at eye level. This way, your entire body except your forearms are in correct singing position without stress, strain, or abnormal burning sensations....or even loss of circulation.

Really, someone somewhere who will listen should ask me for my advice on this. I am not a lazy singer who refuses to sit on the lip of her chair, I am an intelligent person who realizes that we should be using these posture chairs to their full advantage.

poor ole michael finnigan begin again...

2008-08-28T20:37:00.002-05:00

that was the last line from one of the most annoying songs from my childhood. i though the poor guy's name was michael finniganbeginagain....not michael finnigan and then instructions for the continuation of the song.

that being said, i have begun again. here we go, into one of the most hectic years of my life so far. i think i'm ready. today we picked a recital date...february 14th. yes, valentine's day. i can't decide whether or not to "play up" the theme and wear red and have hearts everywhere or just ignore it altogether and go on about my business...we all know how i love to wear red.

this week has seemed like the longest week of my life, but i'm sure as deadlines approach, time will begin (again) to move faster.

i am enjoying wedding planning so much. i have not really stressed about anything yet, and i hope to keep it that way. we can all thank brad for proposing earlier than he had planned. otherwise, i might have turned into this hurricane of a wedding planner and who knows what the place would have ended up looking like! the whole process has been really fun so far!

that's really all i have. another new year. the last year of my masters degree (hallelujah!). the last year for a lot of things! : ) life is really exciting right now, and for that i am grateful!

a new chapter

2008-07-21T12:25:00.004-05:00

so, for those of you who haven't yet heard, i am ENGAGED!!

now, honestly if you had asked me on this day two years ago if i thought that this would happen i would have laughed in your face. i was prepared to never get married. in fact, i wasn't sure i WANTED to get married. i had never really believed that something that wonderful could happen to me.

and yet, God had other plans. and i am so thankful that He did.

Praise God for his amazing blessings and his wisdom. I have been blessed with a wonderful Christian man that I respect and look up to and love very much.

and so a new chapter in my life....in OUR lives...begins. this will be full of a lot of fun, a lot of figuring things out (hopefully not all the hard way), and preparation for the rest of our lives. and i couldn't be happier.

you know, all my life i have been told that there are only two major decisions in life that must be made (and unfortunately for most people they must be made in the first half of your lifetime...while you're still kinda dumb): 1. whether or not you will follow Christ with your heart, and 2. who you will marry.

it just dawned on me that i have made both of those decisions!!

for those of you who want to see it now...here's the ring!

goosebumps

2008-07-08T19:12:00.002-05:00

this summer i have truly taken a break from what has now become my profession (or some form of it)--singing. and i have loved it. i loved the break last summer too. i love it so much that sometimes it scares me.

"why do i not miss this?"

however, i have returned to something this summer that has given me another reason for pause. i have returned to my old world of swimming. i left this world very suddenly five years ago because of some unfortunately timed injuries, and in so doing changed the entire course of my life. since that time, i've really been fine with leaving that arena. i left it for good (so i thought) and pursued the other thing that i loved (music), and it served me well. however, having returned these days, i feel much more competent as a swimming coach and teacher than a voice teacher and performer. i did swim for eleven years and i haven't been singing for that many (seriously), so i guess that explains it a little bit. but this was really bothering me for awhile.

until i remembered a speech i heard at the end of the year last semester. it was one of those inspirational speeches at the end of an awards ceremony, and i usually completely tune those out, but for some reason i was on the front row of this assembly and the man talking looked like such a nice man that i really couldn't just not pay attention. so i gave him a chance.

he was speaking specifically to musicians (which honestly doesn't happen that often), and he encouraged us to remember why it was that we decided to follow this profession. for most of us it was a certain teacher that influenced us. i know it started out that way for me. but somewhere along the way, i gave up hope of ever being happy teaching high school, and another love took over. it was the love of performing. now this didn't and doesn't really make sense when you realize that i am an introvert and deep down don't really like being in the center of things all the time. but i chose this path because it was the first thing that ever truly gave me that "goosebump" feeling.

nothing gives me that feeling more than an awesome chord progression or a weeping vocal line or a beautiful text set perfectly to a simple accompaniment, and the true meaning being thereby revealed. swimming a fast 100 yard freestyle rarely gives me that feeling anymore (unless i'm in the public pool, and that's only because the water stays at 72 degrees). i chose this profession because i loved it. because it spoke to me. because i hope that it can speak to others the way it speaks to me. because it allows me to get out of the way and enjoy the ride just as much as my audience. it allows me to lose myself in something bigger than myself and for a moment be somewhere else entirely.

THAT is why i do what i do. not for the recognition. not for the fun. not for the money (obviously). it's for the love of it. the pure, enveloping feeling i get when i know that i have given my all into a performance. that's all.

crazies

2008-07-07T23:17:00.002-05:00

is it bad that i constantly think that most other people are certifiably nuts? cause i do.

so, in short, i've probably put you in that category at some point.

but to make you feel better, i myself am CONSTANTLY in that category.

guess we're all in good company.

around the world

2008-06-14T10:16:00.002-05:00

i have been around the world again...to china and back, and it was a good trip. however, it was one of those trips that i just need to have some distance from before i make any public and lasting statements about it. but i am fully prepared to do that, just give me a bit. it was a hard trip, but a good trip, and i learned many important things. i just need another week or so.

i am pretty frustrated right now with my bullfrog sunscreen, though. yesterday brad and i went to the pool for a couple of hours, but i DID NOT want ANY sun, so i slathered up really good with a lot of that goopy stuff...and later that evening found out that i was incredibly sunburned. my skin is actually crispy. i don't know how that's possible, but apparently it is. now, the sunscreen i applied was SPF 36. i was in the sun for a total of about an hour and a half. i did apply sunscreen. i got a bad sunburn. you do the math.

i. am. up. set.

i was going to be so good this summer and not get one burn, and any tan i DID get was going to be a SPRAY ON. i'm not ashamed to say it. i don't want skin cancer.

*sigh* i'm making friends with the aloe bottle.

people

2008-05-04T21:15:00.002-05:00

I am intrigued more and more by people and their everyday schedules. We all have them. I have one. Every Tuesday I get up and go to my 9:30 History of American Music class where I zone out through most of it (...sorry Dr. Steel) and pretend to know what I'm taking notes on, knowing that I'll just read the book and do independent research (a.k.a. wikipedia) later on the topic discussed that day. Then, I go to my office, deposit my things, pick up my voice notebook, and head toward the vocal area end of the building. And every Tuesday, I see the same girl...walking down that same hallway, talking on her red razor. Every week, talking on the phone. I have never met this girl in my life, but she always says hello, but the tone of her voice never changes, so it took me several weeks before I realized that she was actually saying hello to ME (that and it was confusing because she never directly looked at me, just said it in passing)!! But several things come to my mind every week when I see her: Where is she coming from? Where is she going? Who could she possibly be talking to on the phone every Tuesday morning at the same time?

Now, throughout the semester (it took me several weeks to become so intrigued that I thought about this on a regular Tuesday basis) I have learned the answers....or partial answers, rather...to some of these questions. Where is she coming from? Well apparently a red Intrigue in the pit parking lot. I happened to get out of class early a few weeks ago and need to run to my car for something before my lesson. Where is she going? Somewhere on the west end of the building, probably a biology class (for some reason, the Gen Ed biology class meets in the music building...I've always found that really strange) because she is never carrying anything that denotes a music major (deNOTES....get it?) and I never see her at music functions. One day I got out of class late and saw her on the west side of the building as I was exiting my classroom...also on the west side. (Sounds like I'm on the wrong side of the train track).

I have never gotten an answer to who she is talking to...but I'm so intrigued. Not many people are just free to chat it up on Tuesdays at 10:50, so naturally I'm curious. I doubt I will ever get an answer for that cosmic question...unless it is one of you, my readers, and that is highly unlikely.

But I have been intrigued by what you can learn about people just by following them for a ten second space of time once a week, and what new things you learn just by altering where that ten seconds falls by only a minute or two. And it also makes me consider what things in my life are so constant that people could check their watch by them....and it's probably something as mundane as walking to class.

I know last semester I would judge how much time I had to get across campus to my class that met in the library by where on my walk I encountered "the kid with the broken hand." I tell you, it really threw me off when his hand healed and there was no cast anymore. It was almost like someone had taken my watch off my arm!

anyway...i guess this concludes random posts by alice-anne. enjoy.

2008-05-03T15:51:00.002-05:00

there it is... i see it! it's a light...and i think it's at the end of this tunnel.

2008-04-25T08:10:00.002-05:00

nearly two weeks later, i am no better. i am bound and determined to go back to the doctor today, but i know all he can give me is sterroids. hmmm. maybe i should go monday so the pack will last me the whole week. i have two big performances next week and i need to be able to sing. or at least fake my way through. and then there's juries. oh and then there's this three week tour of china where i sing everyday. yeah, there's that. maybe then i can get some vocal rest...except i have to learn all the pieces for my masters recital.

ummmm.... it never ends. so i really need these allergies and my stupid hacking cough to just go away. thanks.

in other news, i am making good progress on my projects. another couple of nights like last night and i should be good to go. okay, maybe more than a couple. like, five. but that's all. and then i'll be done! : )

and i'll be one year away from my masters degree. hallelujah. i think i might could make it. but don't ask me about it around march of next year.

WHAT IS WITH MY THROAT?

2008-04-14T21:35:00.002-05:00

you think you can just take a break whenever you want to, cords? huh? you think the opera is over and you can just swell up and make me miserable? you aren't finished for the semester. i need you to quit your whining and FUNCTION!

(this is what goes through my head when i start to lose my voice...and apparently my mind as well.)

i can't tell if it's allergies or the alleged "lung disease" that meek hall is rumored to spread, but half the cast (including our director) is without voice today.

good thing the show ended yesterday.

gross. if you call me and someone answers that sounds like a man, it's probably me.

comments

2008-04-09T08:19:00.002-05:00

1. i'm in a really wierd spot in my life right now, and it's so hard to explain...

2. i am reminded daily that music should be what i do, not who i am...or should it?

3. there are a lot of questions floating around in my head, and most of them i'm too scared to sit down and really ask myself right now. maybe once this craziness is over, i'll have some time to truly search for those answers.

4. i'm really starting to love it here and starting to have some really great friends and that's such a great realization : )

5. i'm now to the point that i have to start thinking about big decisions again...what am i actually going to do after i graduate?

6. i need another spring break.

2008-03-28T21:38:00.002-05:00

i will be extremely glad when these two weeks are over.

that's all. these are the crazy two weeks of my semester. if i don't answer the phone, don't take it personally.

cross your fingers for me.

2008-03-17T18:48:00.001-05:00

when it rains it pours.

dumb girl

2008-03-05T23:45:00.002-06:00

sometimes i'm a dumb girl. don't argue with me. it's true. i do dumb things, i think dumb things (although all of these thoughts and actions are common to most girls at some time or another, further proving my hypothesis that every girl at one time in their life will be a dumb girl. this just happens to be one of my many opportunities).

and i really need to apologize to those who get the brunt of my being a dumb girl. but...i don't think they read this. so it's really just making me feel better that i'm typing this into a little gray box that i will forget about as soon as i lay my head on my pillow.

tonight i am shaking my head at myself in the same way that i shake my head at people who i find to be putting themselves in unfortunate positions. i am smacking myself on the forehead...not because i could have had a V8, but because, yet again, i am dumb.

it really does happen to the best of us...we go along doing the best we can, and then we wake up and have a dumb day. in my case, it's been a pretty dumb week. and i'm not really talking about missing obvious questions on tests or wearing two different shoes, i'm talking about "dumb" in the way that you process things. for example...dumb girls get really upset when things don't go their way. dumb girls like to whine about dumb things. dumb girls think that the world revolves around them. and this week, i was a dumb girl.

i am hitherunto foregoing my title of dumb girl (and i don't know if i even used real words there, but it sure sounded smart). i vow from now until at least sunday afternoon (arbitrary time period) to no longer harbor the dumb thoughts of a dumb girl, but to begin thinking the smarter thoughts of the smarter girl that i know i am. sometimes we all forget...and i'm pretty sure you girls know what i'm talking about.

2008-02-26T13:06:00.004-06:00

maybe i'm starting to catch on to this whole grad school thing. i like having one class a day. granted, it takes me the rest of the day to get ready for that one class or to learn all the music i need to learn or whatever...i'm still ridiculously busy, but i'm learning how to chill out, take time for myself, and the joys of doing all that annoying work in a coffee shop with my decaf organic mint tea (awesome) in a squishy chair under my beloved ficus.

i'm re-learning that if you practice you will be prepared...and things will be SO MUCH easier for you. who knew?!?

I'm starting to have some really good lessons and starting to make progress for the first time in a long time. I'm actually excited to be performing tomorrow.

and...some friends and i are starting to establish a girls' night right after church on wednesday night. we go watch america's next top model and project runway and sit and chill out. some really special nights, candy is involved. mmmmmm. and i'm learning that that's okay. it's okay to work really hard and then have some times when you don't work really hard. for example, last night i was at the music building until 10:45, then went home to write a paper. hopefully tomorrow night i will be watching fashion tv and chilling with my friends. that is, if i can stay awake.

today's a good day.

bigger

2008-02-19T13:43:00.003-06:00

sometimes i feel like my life is all figured out. and sometimes i like it that way. but then sometimes i decide that i want to dream about something else, that i want to possibly change the path of my life in some way...and somehow end up in a different place than i ever thought i would. i'm learning that it's okay to decide that your life doesn't have to be completely planned out.

it's even more okay because that way, you give the reins to God...you put them in His ever-so-much-more-capable-than-my-own hands and watch what he can make of your life. what if i decide to do something that i never thought i could do and never thought i would have the opportunity to do?

when i die, what do i want to look back on? will i be disappointed in some way if i only follow what is easy and carefully planned and neatly packaged? what if i have nothing to show for all of my hard work some day. so i taught countless numbers of people to sing...great. did i affect their life, did i affect their eternity?

what i do is a part of who i am and what i believe...but what if i spent just as much time and effort on those parts of my life as i do on what i do...what then?

i'm dreaming big today and hoping that everything will turn out how it is supposed to.

2008-02-13T17:18:00.001-06:00

have faith have faith have faith...

currency

2008-02-08T22:09:00.000-06:00

currents:

favorites--

-banana bread
-pretty woman (sad, but so true...i love this movie)
-my new cd collection, complements of tiffany
-going on a run in the sunshine
-hiking down to the lake and watching the sunset
-good practice time
-long phone calls
-lazy friday evenings
-piano music

not-so-favorites--

-my analysis teacher
-doing laundry
-folding clothes (probably my least favorite chore of all time)
-the fact that there are seven whole days between now and next friday
-headaches that don't seem to go away
-flat pillows

i think i might visit some antique stores tomorrow. not that i have money to spend in them, but i like pretending like i do. plus, walking around beats sitting around any day.

today i went for a run in the sunshine...it's the first day that's been warm enough to do so this year...and it was great. then, i walked down to the lake, and realized that i haven't actually been down there in two or three years. why would i not visit a place that beautiful as much as possible? i sat down by the lake for half an hour just listening to the breeze and watching the ducks on the lake. it was fabulous. i forget that quiet time is so important. i get so caught up in everything that i have to do and all the balls i am currently juggling and it seems i can hardly find time to eat, but i really think that it's important (and becoming more and more so) that i find time to do that much more often than i have this last semester. why do i forget that? i know how important it is...but i forget so often. why is it that i have to be reminded over and over? i guess maybe because i'm human...

in other news, i have a week and a half to raise $1000 for my mission trip to china. i'm hoping that i can come up with that and more...brad may need some too. we're both scrambling to raise the money. so, anyone out there that wants to pray for us...we could use prayer and petition that our money comes in somehow...somehow. God has always provided...and it's always in ways that I could never imagine. I'm having to have faith that He will continue to provide this time.

In other news, the commercials are FAR louder than the show i'm watching, and i'm not really sure why that is. it's really obnoxious to keep adjusting the volume.

i'm starting to feel healthy again, and i'm starting to dig my way out of this hole of homework i've been in. things are looking up. i'm taken care of. i'm thankful. it's been a good week.

i miss brad.

how's this for luck?

2008-02-04T00:09:00.001-06:00

i come home because i am so sick. my car gets broken into and some punk steals my wallet. since its the weekend, i can't freeze my accounts till monday morning. i flagged my cards, so maybe that will help.

i have no drivers license now and the student ID i just walked across campus and paid 30 dollars for is gone. as are all my gift cards from christmas.

*sigh*

things better start looking up. and i'd better still have some money left in my account.

snow

2008-01-29T21:55:00.001-06:00

so i believe that the last time i was this sick, i was asleep in my dorm and the fire alarm went off. not a drill. burnt popcorn. and it was snowing. so there i was, terribly sick, standing in the snow, waiting for the firetruck.

that was a fun day.

good thing i don't live in a dorm. and good thing it's not snowing.

seriously?

2008-01-28T22:06:00.000-06:00

a trip to the emergency room for bronchitis?

ugh. gross.

irony

2008-01-26T10:15:00.000-06:00

so...on the coldest day/night of the year...

our heat broke.

and on my way over to stay at nathan and carla's house, my windshield iced over and i had to pull off the road.

good timing.

inspiration

2008-01-24T21:35:00.000-06:00

i find inspiration in the funniest ways sometimes. i've really hit a plateau as far as my "getting healthy" goes. but tonight i happened upon this reality TV show about making supermodels. they were doing this segment on fitness for the models. i've always thought that supermodels spent all day working out and watched what they ate constantly...and i'm sure some of them do. but my favorite thing about this program was watching all the really skinny perfect-body-from-heaven girls put on nondescript gym shorts and struggle through a minute of jumping rope and 25 crunches. after the jump-roping they were chugging the gatorade. i really found this humorous, and it inspired me to get back on track...in some strange way. i could kick those supermodels' rear ends...and that makes me feel good :)

so here's to being strong...yay!

oh...and i'm going to the gym in the morning.

semester no. 2

2008-01-22T19:23:00.000-06:00

so semester no. 2 is really not as bad as semester no. 1. in fact, it's not even close. which is a good thing. if i had to do semester no. 1 again, i might dig myself a hole and never come out. my classes are really hard, but that's what i thought at the first of last year too, and they really weren't that bad. if i can just keep up with these, i should be okay.

i had a great long weekend last weekend (it really doesn't seem fair that i get a holiday three days after my holiday, but you don't hear me complaining...) with my family and Brad. he took me to play pool and bowling...and i was terrible. i had some funky fluke shots at pool (one i actually attempted and actually made...all the rest were luck) and i got three strikes when we were bowling, but other than that, my scores were pretty embarassing. it was alright, though, we had a great time. we laughed a lot and i found out that my forearm has zero strength. if i could have fit my thumb in the kids' ball, that's what i would have used. i'm a wimp. i spent the rest of the weekend divided amongst my family, my girlfriends, and Brad. I had such a good time seeing everyone again (even though I had seen most of them three days before...).

now i have to go grocery shopping because i have almost no food in my house, and i just drank the last of my milk.

this is not a very exciting post, but i have gotten a few requests for updates, and that's really all i have to say right now. plus, this computer lab is FREEZING because one of the windows is stuck in the open position. i can't really feel my fingers anymore. so i'm gonna go actually do my work that i'm supposed to be doing right now. hope you're all well!